The vice president for human resources at Climpson Industries sent the following recommendation to the company's president.
"In an effort to improve our employees' productivity, we should implement electronic monitoring of employees' Internet use from their workstations. Employees who use the Internet inappropriately from their workstations need to be identified and punished if we are to reduce the number of work hours spent on personal or recreational activities, such as shopping or playing games. Installing software on company computers to detect employees' Internet use is the best way to prevent employees from wasting time on the job. It will foster a better work ethic at Climpson and improve our overall profits."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
According to the vice president of Crimson industries, the employees are using the Internet for unofficial purposes, thereby reducing their productivity. Tracking of the Internet use electronically is as the best way to prevent employees from wasting time on the job. This recommendation with the supporting statements has a couple of flaws.
Firstly, there is no specific evidence showing the correlation between employees using the Internet inappropriately and decreased productivity. Also, human resources manager fails to consider the other factors that can lead to a decline in productivity. For example, the workers might be having personal problems, or the workers hired are not suitable for the job. The company can get specific evidence by comparing the work done by the workers when the company allows for access to only official websites and when they offer general access together. The result can then be used to decide if monitoring and punishment will be the option to go with.
Apart from the lack of proof of the internet being a detrimental factor in employees productivity, there is no evidence that punishing the workers would lead to change. The punishment might be so light that the workers would not mind going through it over and over as long as long as they get to surf the web however they like. For example, if the punishment for the offender is the removal of one dollar from their monthly salary of two thousand dollars, the offender will not feel the impact. The punishment stated should compel the workers to stick with official internet use.
Lastly, the cost of installing the software might be so much that there is an actual loss in gains of the company. The manager also states that this is the best way to increase productivity. The statement is too broad because there are other methods to increase productivity such as training sessions and provision of more technological advanced equipment for the workers.
In conclusion, the points brought up by the manager are weak. Specific evidence has used to support these points for this to be reasonable and logical.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 347 350
No. of Characters: 1721 1500
No. of Different Words: 178 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.316 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.96 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.743 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 125 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 104 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 69 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 37 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.412 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.669 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.647 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.306 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.559 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.043 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 201, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ng of the Internet use electronically is as the best way to prevent employees fro...
^^
Line 1, column 344, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...rting statements has a couple of flaws. Firstly, there is no specific evidence s...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 157, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'resources'' or 'resource's'?
Suggestion: resources'; resource's
...and decreased productivity. Also, human resources manager fails to consider the other fac...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 403, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...b. The company can get specific evidence by comparing the work done by the worker...
^^
Line 11, column 266, Rule ID: PHRASE_REPETITION[1]
Message: This phrase is duplicated. You should probably leave only 'as long'.
Suggestion: as long
...not mind going through it over and over as long as long as they get to surf the web however the...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, firstly, however, if, lastly, so, then, apart from, for example, in conclusion, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.6327345309 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 13.6137724551 51% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 15.0 28.8173652695 52% => OK
Preposition: 45.0 55.5748502994 81% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 16.3942115768 73% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1776.0 2260.96107784 79% => OK
No of words: 347.0 441.139720559 79% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.1181556196 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.31600926901 4.56307096286 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.82099741109 2.78398813304 101% => OK
Unique words: 178.0 204.123752495 87% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.512968299712 0.468620217663 109% => OK
syllable_count: 546.3 705.55239521 77% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 19.7664670659 86% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 39.2983442602 57.8364921388 68% => OK
Chars per sentence: 104.470588235 119.503703932 87% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.4117647059 23.324526521 88% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.88235294118 5.70786347227 103% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 6.88822355289 131% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.129895049272 0.218282227539 60% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0438468102358 0.0743258471296 59% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0347279614119 0.0701772020484 49% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0728956889452 0.128457276422 57% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0472701414565 0.0628817314937 75% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.9 14.3799401198 90% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 48.3550499002 106% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.42 12.5979740519 99% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.5 8.32208582834 102% => OK
difficult_words: 85.0 98.500998004 86% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 12.3882235529 69% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.