The vice president of human resources at Climpson Industries sent the following recommendation to the company's president.
"In an effort to improve our employees' productivity, we should implement electronic monitoring of employees' Internet use from their workstations. Employees who use the Internet from their workstations need to be identified and punished if we are to reduce the number of work hours spent on personal or recreational activities, such as shopping or playing games. By installing software to detect employees' Internet use on company computers, we can prevent employees from wasting time, foster a better work ethic at Climpson, and improve our overall profits."
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
In the recommendation given by the vice president of human resources at Climpson Industries, the vice president proposes monitoring the use of Internet of their employees at their workstations. This, the author believes would improve work ethics and overall profits at the Climpson. Although this recommendation is well-meant it needs to be substantiated with further analysis.
Firstly, the author states that implementing electronic monitoring software to track Internet usage would improve the productivity of the employees. The author makes an assumption that the employees don't use the internet at all for work. this would make it difficult to differentiate when they are working and when not. Furthermore, the author naively assumes that the employees wouldn't find an alternate way to spend time on recreational activities. It is possible that they may just out-of-spite may not complete or delay their work by the deadlines. It is also possible that the software added on the workstation could act as a hindrance to the employees by demotivating them as they would constantly be reminded someone is watching them. Thus the author conclusion may not stand and in fact, possibly not increase but decrease the productivity of the employees.
Additionally, the author makes a hasty decision about identifying and punishing the employees who use their workstations for recreational activities. This may lead to the employees harbouring ill feeling towards the company. The author doesn't take into consideration the emotions of the employees. Other means to achieve the goal should be explored before resorting to punishments. Unless, this solution is based on any authentic or reliable source, the author's recommendation cannot be held valid.
Lastly, the author conclusively concludes that by installing this software to detect the Internet time of the employees it would increase the overall profits and foster a better work ethics. This may not stand true as the author assumes that the process of installing the software is cheap and easy. It could, in fact, be expensive, long and require constant maintenance. It is also possible the company may not have the available funds to spend on getting the software installed. Thereby, it is necessary that the author examines all the factors involved before making an unwarranted assumption that his recommendation would definitely benefit the company.
The author's conclusion is based on hurriedly made assumptions. While the proposal to monitor the employees' Internet time highlights possibility, however additional information is required to warrant any further action.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 9 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 407 350
No. of Characters: 2182 1500
No. of Different Words: 195 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.492 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.361 4.6
Word Length SD: 3.043 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 165 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 139 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 110 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 72 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.381 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.68 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.524 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.338 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.527 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.079 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 284, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Although” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...cs and overall profits at the Climpson. Although this recommendation is well-meant it ne...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 200, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
... makes an assumption that the employees dont use the internet at all for work. this ...
^^^^
Line 3, column 239, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: This
... dont use the internet at all for work. this would make it difficult to differentiat...
^^^^
Line 3, column 381, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: wouldn't
...thor naively assumes that the employees wouldnt find an alternate way to spend time on ...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 744, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...y be reminded someone is watching them. Thus the author conclusion may not stand and...
^^^^
Line 5, column 237, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...feeling towards the company. The author doesnt take into consideration the emotions of...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 455, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...n any authentic or reliable source, the authors recommendation cannot be held valid. ...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 5, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
... definitely benefit the company. The authors conclusion is based on hurriedly made a...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, furthermore, however, if, lastly, may, so, then, thus, well, while, in fact
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.6327345309 81% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.9520958084 124% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 33.0 28.8173652695 115% => OK
Preposition: 43.0 55.5748502994 77% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 16.3942115768 73% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2234.0 2260.96107784 99% => OK
No of words: 404.0 441.139720559 92% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.5297029703 5.12650576532 108% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.48327461151 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.10497480542 2.78398813304 112% => OK
Unique words: 199.0 204.123752495 97% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.492574257426 0.468620217663 105% => OK
syllable_count: 682.2 705.55239521 97% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 4.96107784431 181% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 41.1934561119 57.8364921388 71% => OK
Chars per sentence: 101.545454545 119.503703932 85% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.3636363636 23.324526521 79% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.63636363636 5.70786347227 81% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.25449101796 152% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.67664670659 192% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.249210443784 0.218282227539 114% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0711142962314 0.0743258471296 96% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.103483570441 0.0701772020484 147% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.15267858986 0.128457276422 119% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.11274577619 0.0628817314937 179% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.8 14.3799401198 96% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 44.75 48.3550499002 93% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.197005988 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.79 12.5979740519 117% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.91 8.32208582834 107% => OK
difficult_words: 112.0 98.500998004 114% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 12.3882235529 73% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.