We recommend that Grove College preserve its century-old tradition of all-female education rather than admit men into its programs. It is true that a majority of faculty members voted in favor of coeducation, arguing that it would encourage more students to apply to Grove. But eighty percent of the students responding to a survey conducted by the student government wanted the school to remain all female, and over half of the alumni who answered a separate survey also opposed coeducation. Keeping the college all-female, therefore, will improve morale among students and convince alumni to keep supporting the college financially.”
According to the recommendation by the president, The author concludes that Grove College having only females will boost the morale of the student and will galvanize respective alumnae to financially contribute to the well-being of the school. The author comes to this conclusion based on a survey conducted by the student government. While this suggestion may prove true, as it stands now, the author would need to answer unwarranted three questions that could hamper the credibility of its recommendation.
First of all, is 80% representative of the population to conclude on such a recommendation? Perhaps, the students who responded to the survey of probably a population of 1000 were biased, based on their foundational friendship built among their peers. what if those who did not respond were sick the day it was conducted and may probably choose another option? It is possible that based on these scenarios that might have constituted the statistics, would require more evidences to increase the persuasiveness of such argument. If this example above presented is true, then the author's conclusion is significantly hampered.
In addition, is a majority of faculty members representative? or was the survey conducted effectively? It is possible that a majority could be 1 out of 2, or 5 out of 10. It would be possibly inaccurate to base such recommendation on such premise. Perhaps, the time the survey was conducted, they were quite tired and might have mistakenly entered a wrong census of the population. If the above scenarios proves true, then the author's argument is considerably diminished.
Finally, on what premise is the author certain that the alumnae would keep supporting in the coming years? Perhaps, the alumnae's job is quite stable at a particular time, and could only support within the available. it is possible that as a result of certain inevitable circumstances, he loses his job and so no source of income. then how would it be certain that in the coming years there would be sufficient support in terms of finance to the college. If the above scenarios proves true, then the author's argument is considerably diminished.
In conclusion, In order for the persuasiveness of the author's recommendation to be improved, he needs to provide answers to these questions. If not the author's recommendation would not hold water.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 381 350
No. of Characters: 1928 1500
No. of Different Words: 179 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.418 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.06 4.6
Word Length SD: 3.084 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 136 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 109 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 81 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 59 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.412 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.434 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.647 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.343 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.554 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.093 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 254, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: What
...nal friendship built among their peers. what if those who did not respond were sick ...
^^^^
Line 3, column 580, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...ample above presented is true, then the authors conclusion is significantly hampered. ...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 63, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Or
...rity of faculty members representative? or was the survey conducted effectively? I...
^^
Line 5, column 429, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...e above scenarios proves true, then the authors argument is considerably diminished. ...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 217, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...ould only support within the available. it is possible that as a result of certain...
^^
Line 7, column 331, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Then
...ses his job and so no source of income. then how would it be certain that in the com...
^^^^
Line 7, column 501, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...e above scenarios proves true, then the authors argument is considerably diminished. ...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 55, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
... In order for the persuasiveness of the authors recommendation to be improved, he needs...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 130, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ed, he needs to provide answers to these questions. If not the authors recommenda...
^^
Line 9, column 143, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...to provide answers to these questions. If not the authors recommendation would no...
^^
Line 9, column 154, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...answers to these questions. If not the authors recommendation would not hold water. ...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, finally, first, if, may, so, then, well, while, in addition, in conclusion, as a result, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 19.6327345309 117% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 12.9520958084 131% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 28.0 28.8173652695 97% => OK
Preposition: 49.0 55.5748502994 88% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 16.3942115768 98% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1984.0 2260.96107784 88% => OK
No of words: 381.0 441.139720559 86% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.20734908136 5.12650576532 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.41805628031 4.56307096286 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.16553931462 2.78398813304 114% => OK
Unique words: 186.0 204.123752495 91% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.488188976378 0.468620217663 104% => OK
syllable_count: 618.3 705.55239521 88% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 2.70958083832 221% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 45.747904305 57.8364921388 79% => OK
Chars per sentence: 94.4761904762 119.503703932 79% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.1428571429 23.324526521 78% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.04761904762 5.70786347227 88% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 11.0 5.25449101796 209% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 8.20758483034 158% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.126178259911 0.218282227539 58% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0406107955029 0.0743258471296 55% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0371424082917 0.0701772020484 53% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0738630135455 0.128457276422 58% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.029771140719 0.0628817314937 47% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.2 14.3799401198 85% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 53.21 48.3550499002 110% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.197005988 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.64 12.5979740519 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.34 8.32208582834 100% => OK
difficult_words: 92.0 98.500998004 93% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.