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1. As people rely more and more on technology to solve problems, the ability of humans to think for themselves will surely deteriorate.Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you tak

Essay topics: 1. As people rely more and more on technology to solve problems, the ability of humans to think for themselves will surely deteriorate.

Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

wo00_hi's picture

As technology become developed, people usually say “human beings become more and more stupid than the past”. If so, which technology contributes to the deteorioration of the ability to think? we can say computer and internet technology as the main culprit. Computer and internet technology replace human's ability to think, and especially those activities in the brain related with memory, creativity or critical thinking. I agree that the link between the reliance on computer and internet technology and ability of human’s thought is inversely proportional. someone would say internet technology is helpful to think ourselves because it provides a lot of information and eliminates mundane work. but I still believe it has no helpful impact for people to think independently, because people give technology too much role such as memory, calculating and so on in trivial life. In addition, people cannot deliberate on something and are deprived of the chance to expand inquiry ability.

First, technology supersedes the most part of capacity of human's memory. The more people take advantage of the convenience of technology with a smart phone, the more people cannot use their own brain's ability. it makes human far from remembering even simple things in the trivial life such as contact list on cellular phone. For example, when I was young, I could remember phone numbers of friends’ house. now, I cannot remember anyones, instead my phone can remember phone numbers of whom I know. For someone, it would be seemed as too trivial things to deteriorate ability of humans to think, also some programs is beneficial for increasing our productivity in fixed time. however, we can imagine the consequences when human make ourselves void of technology. Just in that case, it cannot be guaranteed for the same efficiency to remember something, and the failure of memory can retard the overall ability to think.

Furthermore, humans cannot expand their horizons of the inquiry ability and critical thinking. it is not hyperbole to say that technology usurps the opportunity to ruminate something from the humans. The development of humans has been started from the ability of humans to think independently and rigorously. but, now when encountering some problems in their life, people generally turn on the phone and look up something related the solutions through search engine of the internet in recent days. In Korea, there is a search engine called naver, and naver has a QnA platform called "JiSik(knowldege)-In". After launch this platform, it has been a trend that some students, even university students, who are doing homework ask the "JiSik-In" platform, and copy what someone answers. it is obvious the internet platform like this can be helpful to collect much information and grasp appropriate solution. however, thinking ability is nowhere in the process of searching internet, so people gradually self-deprived of the right to think for themselves. it is a natural consequence that people lack of creativity in modern times.

With above reasons, I believe the ability of humans thoughts including memory, concentration and creativity would fester along with the development of internet technology. people should have a knack of using it as helpful means of problem-solving and avoid of being fully dependent on it.

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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 203, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: We
...deteorioration of the ability to think? we can say computer and internet technolog...
^^
Line 1, column 575, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Someone
...os;s thought is inversely proportional. someone would say internet technology is helpfu...
^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 713, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: But
...nformation and eliminates mundane work. but I still believe it has no helpful impac...
^^^
Line 5, column 211, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...le cannot use their own brains ability. it makes human far from remembering even s...
^^
Line 5, column 412, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Now
...r phone numbers of friends' house. now, I cannot remember anyones, instead my ...
^^^
Line 5, column 681, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: However
...reasing our productivity in fixed time. however, we can imagine the consequences when h...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 96, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
... inquiry ability and critical thinking. it is not hyperbole to say that technology...
^^
Line 9, column 310, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: But
... to think independently and rigorously. but, now when encountering some problems in...
^^^
Line 9, column 802, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...latform, and copy what someone answers. it is obvious the internet platform like t...
^^
Line 9, column 923, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: However
...rmation and grasp appropriate solution. however, thinking ability is nowhere in the pro...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 1070, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...d of the right to think for themselves. it is a natural consequence that people la...
^^
Line 13, column 97, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ghts including memory, concentration and creativity would fester along with the d...
^^
Line 13, column 174, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: People
...the development of internet technology. people should have a knack of using it as help...
^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, furthermore, however, if, look, so, still, as to, for example, in addition, such as

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 19.5258426966 87% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.4196629213 121% => OK
Conjunction : 20.0 14.8657303371 135% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.3162921348 97% => OK
Pronoun: 36.0 33.0505617978 109% => OK
Preposition: 71.0 58.6224719101 121% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 12.9106741573 85% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2848.0 2235.4752809 127% => OK
No of words: 529.0 442.535393258 120% => OK
Chars per words: 5.38374291115 5.05705443957 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.79583152331 4.55969084622 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.17608694386 2.79657885939 114% => OK
Unique words: 261.0 215.323595506 121% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.493383742911 0.4932671777 100% => OK
syllable_count: 915.3 704.065955056 130% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59117977528 107% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 6.24550561798 208% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 3.0 4.99550561798 60% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.10617977528 161% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.77640449438 281% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 4.0 4.38483146067 91% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 27.0 20.2370786517 133% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 23.0359550562 82% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 36.6700335155 60.3974514979 61% => OK
Chars per sentence: 105.481481481 118.986275619 89% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.5925925926 23.4991977007 83% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.74074074074 5.21951772744 72% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 13.0 7.80617977528 167% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 10.2758426966 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 5.13820224719 97% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.83258426966 145% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.230704905358 0.243740707755 95% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0677985537915 0.0831039109588 82% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0530192627509 0.0758088955206 70% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.145791091206 0.150359130593 97% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.050832106002 0.0667264976115 76% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.7 14.1392134831 97% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 43.73 48.8420337079 90% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.92365168539 141% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.1743820225 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.92 12.1639044944 114% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.31 8.38706741573 99% => OK
difficult_words: 125.0 100.480337079 124% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 11.8971910112 97% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.2143820225 86% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.7820224719 102% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.


Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.