Although many people think that the luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life are
entirely harmless, they in fact, prevent people from developing into truly strong and
independent individuals."
Do modern luxuries serve to undermine our true strength and independence as individuals?
The speaker believes so, and I tend to agree. Consider the automobile, for example. Most
people consider the automobile a necessity rather than a luxury; yet it is for this very reason
that the automobile so aptly supports the speaker's point. To the extent that we depend on cars
as crutches, they prevent us from becoming truly independent and strong in character as
individuals.
Consider first the effect of the automobile on our independence as individuals. In some
respects the automobile serves to enhance such independence. For example, cars make it
possible for people in isolated and depressed areas without public transportation to become
more independent by pursing gainful employment outside their communities. And teenagers
discover that owning a car, or even borrowing one on occasion, affords them a needed sense
of independence from their parents.
However, cars have diminished our independence in a number of more significant respects.
We've grown dependent on our cars for commuting to work. We rely on them like crutches for
short trips to the corner store, and for carting our children to and from school. Moreover, the
car has become a means not only to our assorted physical destinations but also to the
attainment of our socioeconomic goals, insofar as the automobile has become a symbol of
status. In fact, in my observation many, if not most, working professionals willingly undermine
their financial security for the sake of being seen driving this year's new SUV or luxury sedan.
In short, we've become slaves to the automobile.
Consider next the overall impact of the automobile on our strength as individuals, by which I
mean strength of character, or mettle. I would be hard-pressed to list one way in which the
automobile enhances one's strength of character. Driving a powerful SUV might afford a
person a feeling and appearance of strength, or machismo. But this feeling has nothing to do
with a person's true character.
In contrast, there is a certain strength of character that comes with eschewing modern
conveniences such as cars, and with the knowledge that one is contributing to a cleaner and
quieter environment, a safer neighborhood, and arguably a more genteel society. Also,
alternative modes of transportation such as bicycling and walking are forms of exercise which
require and promote the virtue of self-discipline. Finally, in my observation people who have
forsaken the automobile spend more time at home, where they are more inclined to prepare
and even grow their own food, and to spend more time with their families. The former
enhances one's independence; the latter enhances the integrity of one's values and the
strength of one's family.
To sum up, the automobile helps illustrate that when a luxury becomes a necessity it can sap
our independence and strength as individuals. Perhaps our society is better off, on balance,
with such "luxuries"; after all, the automobile industry has created countless jobs, raised our
12
standard of living, and made the world more interesting. However, by becoming slaves to the
automobile we trade off a certain independence and inner strength.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 14, column 1, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: We've
...a number of more significant respects. Weve grown dependent on our cars for commuti...
^^^^
Line 19, column 61, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
...rity for the sake of being seen driving this years new SUV or luxury sedan. In shor...
^^^^
Line 20, column 11, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: we've
...ars new SUV or luxury sedan. In short, weve become slaves to the automobile. Consi...
^^^^
Line 23, column 21, Rule ID: ONES[1]
Message: Did you mean 'one's'?
Suggestion: one's
...e way in which the automobile enhances ones strength of character. Driving a powerf...
^^^^
Line 25, column 6, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[1]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'a person' or simply 'persons'?
Suggestion: a person; persons
...ut this feeling has nothing to do with a persons true character. In contrast, there is ...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 33, column 10, Rule ID: ONES[1]
Message: Did you mean 'one's'?
Suggestion: one's
...th their families. The former enhances ones independence; the latter enhances the i...
^^^^
Line 33, column 66, Rule ID: ONES[1]
Message: Did you mean 'one's'?
Suggestion: one's
...e; the latter enhances the integrity of ones values and the strength of ones family...
^^^^
Line 34, column 13, Rule ID: ONES[1]
Message: Did you mean 'one's'?
Suggestion: one's
...ity of ones values and the strength of ones family. To sum up, the automobile help...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, however, if, moreover, so, after all, for example, in contrast, in fact, in short, such as, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 8.0 19.5258426966 41% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 3.0 12.4196629213 24% => OK
Conjunction : 26.0 14.8657303371 175% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.3162921348 106% => OK
Pronoun: 41.0 33.0505617978 124% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 71.0 58.6224719101 121% => OK
Nominalization: 18.0 12.9106741573 139% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2785.0 2235.4752809 125% => OK
No of words: 521.0 442.535393258 118% => OK
Chars per words: 5.34548944338 5.05705443957 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.77759609229 4.55969084622 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.12135567469 2.79657885939 112% => OK
Unique words: 270.0 215.323595506 125% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.518234165067 0.4932671777 105% => OK
syllable_count: 865.8 704.065955056 123% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59117977528 107% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 6.24550561798 96% => OK
Article: 7.0 4.99550561798 140% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.10617977528 97% => OK
Conjunction: 13.0 1.77640449438 732% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 15.0 4.38483146067 342% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 20.2370786517 128% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 23.0359550562 87% => OK
Sentence length SD: 58.1132464098 60.3974514979 96% => OK
Chars per sentence: 107.115384615 118.986275619 90% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.0384615385 23.4991977007 85% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.92307692308 5.21951772744 94% => OK
Paragraphs: 38.0 4.97078651685 764% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 8.0 7.80617977528 102% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 18.0 10.2758426966 175% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 5.13820224719 19% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.83258426966 145% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0869784084115 0.243740707755 36% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0242074835643 0.0831039109588 29% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0387356703263 0.0758088955206 51% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0213941772253 0.150359130593 14% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0364261284117 0.0667264976115 55% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.8 14.1392134831 98% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 42.72 48.8420337079 87% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.1743820225 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.75 12.1639044944 113% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.66 8.38706741573 103% => OK
difficult_words: 133.0 100.480337079 132% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 11.8971910112 67% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.2143820225 89% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.7820224719 119% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Maximum six paragraphs wanted.
It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 16.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.