This argument states that the Excelsior Company should conduct similar promotions that were done by Superior in introducing its own brand of coffee. While the author presents a merit in the claim, there are several questionable assumptions and evidence in regards to the argument
The argument concludes that as the middle aged people spend more money as compared to younger people. It further adds that as the number of middle aged people will increase in future, department store should replace the items which attract to the younger to the one which attract to middle aged people. This argument doe not have proper reasoning. This argument is flawed because it did not provide any evidence to supports its point.
First, author states that the middle aged people spend 39% of the retail on departmental store. However author does not clarify that on which items actually they spend. Middle aged people normally have a family, they buy things for the family. For example people go to departmental store to buy cloths for their kids. Because they get a large range of varieties. Also for kids you need more cloths as compared to adults on average. So middle age people may be spending on their family. Statement does not provide any support that middle aged people actually buying for themselves.
Second, further more the argument says as in near future middle age population will increase so the department store should place the items of their choice.Which is not convincing. younger people now a days want to get associated with branded items. People get these items in departmental store. For example the branded accessories are big profitable items for the departmental store. If store replace these items actually it may affect them adversely.
This argument is flawed and therefore unconvincing to me. The author could have strength ed it but adding more details to it. For example he could have given evidence that middle aged people actually spending on themselves and which is a profitable trend for store.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 174, Rule ID: IN_PAST[1]
Message: Did you mean: 'in the future'?
Suggestion: in the future
...ber of middle aged people will increase in future, department store should replace the it...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 97, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: However,
...9% of the retail on departmental store. However author does not clarify that on which i...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 319, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Because” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...tal store to buy cloths for their kids. Because they get a large range of varieties. Al...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 364, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...se they get a large range of varieties. Also for kids you need more cloths as compar...
^^^^
Line 5, column 157, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Which
... should place the items of their choice.Which is not convincing. younger people now a...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 157, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Which” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
... should place the items of their choice.Which is not convincing. younger people now a...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 182, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Younger
...f their choice.Which is not convincing. younger people now a days want to get associate...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 197, Rule ID: NOW_A_DAYS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'nowadays'?
Suggestion: nowadays
...Which is not convincing. younger people now a days want to get associated with branded ite...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 201, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[1]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'a day' or simply 'days'?
Suggestion: a day; days
...h is not convincing. younger people now a days want to get associated with branded ite...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 386, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...table items for the departmental store. If store replace these items actually it m...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, first, however, if, may, second, so, therefore, for example
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 6.0 19.5258426966 31% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.4196629213 72% => OK
Conjunction : 3.0 14.8657303371 20% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.3162921348 97% => OK
Pronoun: 29.0 33.0505617978 88% => OK
Preposition: 25.0 58.6224719101 43% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 11.0 12.9106741573 85% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1457.0 2235.4752809 65% => OK
No of words: 290.0 442.535393258 66% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.02413793103 5.05705443957 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.12666770723 4.55969084622 91% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.46276673199 2.79657885939 88% => OK
Unique words: 132.0 215.323595506 61% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.455172413793 0.4932671777 92% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 454.5 704.065955056 65% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 6.24550561798 80% => OK
Article: 2.0 4.99550561798 40% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.10617977528 64% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.77640449438 0% => OK
Preposition: 0.0 4.38483146067 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.2370786517 99% => OK
Sentence length: 14.0 23.0359550562 61% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 41.2503030292 60.3974514979 68% => OK
Chars per sentence: 72.85 118.986275619 61% => OK
Words per sentence: 14.5 23.4991977007 62% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.0 5.21951772744 77% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 10.0 7.80617977528 128% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 10.2758426966 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 5.13820224719 117% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.83258426966 186% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0764059758298 0.243740707755 31% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0333116510057 0.0831039109588 40% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0381724701562 0.0758088955206 50% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0624518647514 0.150359130593 42% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0306666426218 0.0667264976115 46% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.5 14.1392134831 67% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 57.27 48.8420337079 117% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.92365168539 39% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.8 12.1743820225 72% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.24 12.1639044944 92% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.27 8.38706741573 87% => OK
difficult_words: 54.0 100.480337079 54% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 11.8971910112 63% => OK
gunning_fog: 7.6 11.2143820225 68% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 11.7820224719 68% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.