The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition.
The author of the issue claims that strenghtening a feeling of cooperation among young people is more beneficial than the sense of competition since it can creates better leaders in every fiels. As far as I am concerned, the statement is reasonable. Although each aspect of competition or cooperation has its own pros and cons, I agree that positive qualities of a leader who seeks cooperation overcomes the negativities.
On the one hand, making the sense of cooperation stronger among young generation of workforce leads to instant profitable results. When people of various abilities come together and work as a group, the pressure of the project is divided among them and every one would be able to handle his responsibilities. However, if people rely on working individually, it is incumbent upon a single person in charge to act as the sole decision-maker. It is apparently evident that working as a team contributes to solutions that address the vicissitudes of the projects whether in government or industry faster than working alone. For instnace, a project which may took a year for an engineer to be accomplished, may be implemented by a team of engineers during six months.
Following that, cooperation inspires people of various fields to work not only in their own field of study but also in contact with other experts in other fields. If a society seeks to rear up professional leaders, it should motivate young people of disparate professions to work to work together as a team under the supervision of a leader. For example, a leader who has the knowledge about current needs and wants of society would be much more successful if he supervises a team of experts in various fields of economy, politic, and etc. In this way, everyone would focus on the problems of his career and the accuracy of the final result increases, as well. The same scenario is true about the industry. Imagine a leader who has confronted a problem in the project. Working in cooperation with other, he may ask for the help of an adept person in that case to solve the problem with high performance.
On the other hand, the most significant reason for instilling competition in young people to transfer them to prepared leaders may lie behind the fact that competition creates the desire to hard work. The predilection of the majority of youngsters is to prove their abilities to their employee or other people. Although competition may bring jealousy, greed or conspiracy in some cases, the prosperous leaders are those who avoid negative and immoral actions and work with alacrity. For instance, some youngsters may contrive with their fellows to embezzle or bribe to someone in order to achieve a higher position in leadership and compete with their opponents. However, if the government wrest control of these misfeasances, the competition results in laborious and tireless work of young generation in every field.
To conclude, a leader in government, industry or every other field is a high-responsibility task that requires the cooperation of a group of people. A leader may achieve the dreams of a society in working in a group rather than individually. However, competition may bring strong desire for hard work which is another asset for a leader. I strongly support cooperation and I think helping each other brings prosperity.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 157, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: 'create'
Suggestion: create
...n the sense of competition since it can creates better leaders in every fiels. As far a...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 273, Rule ID: PHRASE_REPETITION[1]
Message: This phrase is duplicated. You should probably leave only 'to work'.
Suggestion: to work
...e young people of disparate professions to work to work together as a team under the supervisio...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 532, Rule ID: AND_ETC[1]
Message: Use simply 'etc.'.
Suggestion: etc.
... in various fields of economy, politic, and etc. In this way, everyone would focus on th...
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, apparently, but, however, if, may, so, still, well, for example, for instance, i think, in some cases, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 19.5258426966 72% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.4196629213 105% => OK
Conjunction : 18.0 14.8657303371 121% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 11.3162921348 133% => OK
Pronoun: 31.0 33.0505617978 94% => OK
Preposition: 91.0 58.6224719101 155% => OK
Nominalization: 25.0 12.9106741573 194% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2788.0 2235.4752809 125% => OK
No of words: 554.0 442.535393258 125% => OK
Chars per words: 5.03249097473 5.05705443957 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.85151570047 4.55969084622 106% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.0138048142 2.79657885939 108% => OK
Unique words: 262.0 215.323595506 122% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.472924187726 0.4932671777 96% => OK
syllable_count: 876.6 704.065955056 125% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 6.24550561798 96% => OK
Article: 12.0 4.99550561798 240% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 8.0 3.10617977528 258% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.77640449438 56% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.38483146067 91% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 20.2370786517 119% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 23.0359550562 100% => OK
Sentence length SD: 45.7974859815 60.3974514979 76% => OK
Chars per sentence: 116.166666667 118.986275619 98% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.0833333333 23.4991977007 98% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.25 5.21951772744 101% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 7.80617977528 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 10.2758426966 136% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 5.13820224719 117% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.83258426966 83% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.236358883277 0.243740707755 97% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0620729430649 0.0831039109588 75% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0491996868341 0.0758088955206 65% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.127501765544 0.150359130593 85% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0399125868083 0.0667264976115 60% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.8 14.1392134831 98% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 48.13 48.8420337079 99% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.1743820225 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.19 12.1639044944 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.34 8.38706741573 99% => OK
difficult_words: 125.0 100.480337079 124% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.5 11.8971910112 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.2143820225 100% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.7820224719 110% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.