“The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition.”
As a reader, this topic is quite controversial to me. Cooperation is said to be the backbone of every country. Indisputably, In some areas competition is required such as business market, education etc. Government of the country knows the difference between cooperation and competition in such a way that they introduced Competition bill. The purpose of the competition bill to increase the competition in case of the business market and diminish the anti-competition agreement i.e. cooperation agreement. However, there should be cooperation between young people in a job. This results at the end of negativity. Thus, I am the opinion that there should be a balance between cooperation and the competition so disagree with this context.
First of all, Competition encourages lower product prices. Let us look at the example of Mi Mobiles. After the entering of Mi company in the mobile market, the prices of high-end devices is decreasing. Now how it is possible? The motto of Mi mobiles is to provide high-end mobiles at a lower rate with the same quality. The end users love the motto of the company. So the other companies also follow the same motto. If an anti-competition agreement is enforced between such companies then end-users will not be able to get the high-end devices at lower prices.
Secondly, Cooperation is required in many fields such as teamwork ( cricket game, project work). If in such field competition is indulged, it would result in inefficient work. Let us look at the example of Project work. It is teamwork if employees do the work with cooperation then it will surely get a success whereas if employees the same work with the competition, it would not result in 100 success.As per Marvin, a young businessman stated that " competition is required as it gives me to think economically and practically".
By way of conclusion, based on the argument explored above, I am of the opinion that young people should create a balance between competition and cooperation.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 134, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'areas'' or 'area's'?
Suggestion: areas'; area's
...of every country. Indisputably, In some areas competition is required such as busines...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 417, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...r companies also follow the same motto. If an anti-competition agreement is enforc...
^^
Line 10, column 66, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...required in many fields such as teamwork cricket game, project work. If in such f...
^^
Line 10, column 204, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ient work. Let us look at the example of Project work. It is teamwork if employee...
^^
Line 10, column 321, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... it will surely get a success whereas if employees the same work with the competi...
^^
Line 10, column 404, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: As
...ion, it would not result in 100 success.As per Marvin, a young businessman stated ...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, however, if, look, second, secondly, so, then, thus, whereas, such as, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 19.5258426966 77% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 12.4196629213 56% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 14.8657303371 34% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 4.0 11.3162921348 35% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 21.0 33.0505617978 64% => OK
Preposition: 47.0 58.6224719101 80% => OK
Nominalization: 30.0 12.9106741573 232% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1693.0 2235.4752809 76% => OK
No of words: 329.0 442.535393258 74% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.14589665653 5.05705443957 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.25891501996 4.55969084622 93% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.14518441932 2.79657885939 112% => OK
Unique words: 157.0 215.323595506 73% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.477203647416 0.4932671777 97% => OK
syllable_count: 532.8 704.065955056 76% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 6.24550561798 112% => OK
Article: 5.0 4.99550561798 100% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.10617977528 161% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.77640449438 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.38483146067 68% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.2370786517 104% => OK
Sentence length: 15.0 23.0359550562 65% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 65.1968587087 60.3974514979 108% => OK
Chars per sentence: 80.619047619 118.986275619 68% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.6666666667 23.4991977007 67% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.57142857143 5.21951772744 88% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 7.80617977528 77% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 10.2758426966 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 5.13820224719 97% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 11.0 4.83258426966 228% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0695626772186 0.243740707755 29% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0198809362654 0.0831039109588 24% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0336456797842 0.0758088955206 44% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0567063680844 0.150359130593 38% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0420409487028 0.0667264976115 63% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.7 14.1392134831 76% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 56.25 48.8420337079 115% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 12.1743820225 75% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.29 12.1639044944 101% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.17 8.38706741573 97% => OK
difficult_words: 79.0 100.480337079 79% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 11.8971910112 59% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 8.0 11.2143820225 71% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.7820224719 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 16.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.