"The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition."
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.
Being able to cooperate is in many cases an important skill, that can lead to better results in a shorter period of time, so it is important that children understand how this ability is more important than being permanently under pressure in order to be the best. Moreover when children are used to get help from others, it is more likely that they won't be dispotic and will share their knowledge to the others, so it is unquestionable that government should make sure that the next generations will try to cooperate.
The first reason for this is that, when working in a group, the project is going to be developed faster and better. In fact team leaders usually give to members the right task for each of them, knowing who is the most suited for it and thus will do it in less time and without making mistakes. An example can be seen in industries, where the managers control a few employers and divide the job in order to accomplish it more efficently.
Someone may argue that this may cause chidlren not to work hard enough in order to be the first of their class, or to make sure that they will be above everyone else, but that's not necessarily true. Of course some lazy guys will follow this route, I even had a few friends in my class that newer showed up when we had to make a team project for the science teacher, but a group of researchers from Oxford discovered that working in a team actually enhances the productivity of the members in almost 75% of the cases. They think that this may be caused by a sense of duty in respect of the efforts made by their peers.
Another reason for wanting government to encourage young people to develop a sense of cooperation rather than competition is the fact that the former will lower the chances of people to grow up as despots. Let's take as an example the history of Rome. Before the advent of the Empire, Rome was a republic, in which everyone could do his best to make the city flourish, and they usually tried to cooperate in order to achieve a common objective. But after the first Empereors, the most prominent people wanted to get more and more power to satisfy their ambiciousness, and became the Empereor, and this competition make them less interested in other opinions, often leading to poor decision, since noone deign the others of attention and followed their own interest.
But the most important fact is that in a world where children understand the importance of cooperating, ideas, opinions and discoveries will travel around the world and permit everyone to contribute to a common goal: the advancement of mankind. Let's just see how fast technology develops now that globalization enables everyone to share their knowledge. In the eighteenth century it was impossible to think that a man could land on the Moon, but in 1969, after years of work from scientists all around the world made it possible. It wasn't a success just for the USA, but also for all their countries who gave their help, like England, Canada, France, Italy and many others.
To sum up, it is clear that the negative effects that instilling a willingness to cooperate in the younger ones are almost negligible, meanwhile such a decision will surely lead to incredible results, from which almost everyone will get some advantages, so it's impossible for me not to agree with the statement.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 107, Rule ID: PERIOD_OF_TIME[1]
Message: Use simply 'period'.
Suggestion: period
...can lead to better results in a shorter period of time, so it is important that children under...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 265, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Moreover,
...under pressure in order to be the best. Moreover when children are used to get help from...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 172, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: that's
...t they will be above everyone else, but thats not necessarily true. Of course some la...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 207, Rule ID: LETS_LET[1]
Message: Did you mean 'Let's'?
Suggestion: Let's
...hances of people to grow up as despots. Lets take as an example the history of Rome....
^^^^
Line 9, column 534, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: wasn't
...l around the world made it possible. It wasnt a success just for the USA, but also fo...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, first, may, moreover, so, still, thus, while, in fact, of course, in many cases, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 19.5258426966 123% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 12.4196629213 137% => OK
Conjunction : 20.0 14.8657303371 135% => OK
Relative clauses : 26.0 11.3162921348 230% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 53.0 33.0505617978 160% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 88.0 58.6224719101 150% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 12.9106741573 85% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2751.0 2235.4752809 123% => OK
No of words: 588.0 442.535393258 133% => OK
Chars per words: 4.67857142857 5.05705443957 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.9242980521 4.55969084622 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.57975651761 2.79657885939 92% => OK
Unique words: 291.0 215.323595506 135% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.494897959184 0.4932671777 100% => OK
syllable_count: 859.5 704.065955056 122% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 6.24550561798 96% => OK
Article: 4.0 4.99550561798 80% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.10617977528 129% => OK
Conjunction: 10.0 1.77640449438 563% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 10.0 4.38483146067 228% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.2370786517 84% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 34.0 23.0359550562 148% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 79.1499824585 60.3974514979 131% => OK
Chars per sentence: 161.823529412 118.986275619 136% => OK
Words per sentence: 34.5882352941 23.4991977007 147% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.52941176471 5.21951772744 125% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 4.97078651685 121% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 7.80617977528 64% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 10.2758426966 136% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 5.13820224719 19% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.83258426966 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.101630917108 0.243740707755 42% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0338693182451 0.0831039109588 41% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0372733365997 0.0758088955206 49% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0593912857937 0.150359130593 39% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0397620864745 0.0667264976115 60% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.9 14.1392134831 127% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 45.43 48.8420337079 93% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.4 12.1743820225 126% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.46 12.1639044944 86% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.49 8.38706741573 101% => OK
difficult_words: 118.0 100.480337079 117% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 18.0 11.8971910112 151% => OK
gunning_fog: 15.6 11.2143820225 139% => OK
text_standard: 18.0 11.7820224719 153% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.