The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition
In our current world, manufacturing industries tend to be competitive in marketing their products to consumers, which is necessary to a certain point for their businesses to grow and thrive. However, extreme competition can culminate into rivalries, which can engender into extreme hostility between them, and could eliminate choices of improving each others' works with a little cooperation that they could have provided each other with, in order to achieve success individually.
In Universities or Colleges, students can experience an evident example of the merits of cooperation, where if they study as a group, it can cause them to achieve better results and gain more satisfactory academic performances. However, to completely eradicate a competitive mentatility among contemporaries is not suggested, since having a little competition can also lead to achieving greater success. The government encourages competition among students by offering grants or scholarships to scholars who performed better, and this encourages every student to work harder and pursue the goals of achieving scholarships.
But I stand strong on the point of view that instilling a sense of cooperation exceeds the merits of competition since it can teach young people about positivity as well. Thereby, it can develop the mindsets of upcoming leaders into exercising effective measures where they can cause to help create more improved works that would result by collaboration, instead of rivalry. We have learned from the past that many scientific revealations were made due to great minds working together, and many pieces of legendary art were created because of genius minds working together, thus it has been proven cooperation does not hamper the progress of expansion of creativity or knowledge.
I would like to conclude that although instilling a sense of competition in young minds can be necessary to develop them into being great leaders in future, making them learn the virtues of cooperation is furthermore necessary and efficacious.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 9, column 285, Rule ID: ALLOW_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'helping'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'cause' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
Suggestion: helping
...effective measures where they can cause to help create more improved works that would ...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 319, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...cause to help create more improved works that would result by collaboration, inst...
^^
Line 13, column 147, Rule ID: IN_PAST[1]
Message: Did you mean: 'in the future'?
Suggestion: in the future
...o develop them into being great leaders in future, making them learn the virtues of coope...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, furthermore, however, if, so, still, thus, well
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 9.0 19.5258426966 46% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.4196629213 105% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 14.8657303371 74% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.3162921348 88% => OK
Pronoun: 23.0 33.0505617978 70% => OK
Preposition: 55.0 58.6224719101 94% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 12.9106741573 101% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1736.0 2235.4752809 78% => OK
No of words: 312.0 442.535393258 71% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.5641025641 5.05705443957 110% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.20279927342 4.55969084622 92% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.07491754886 2.79657885939 110% => OK
Unique words: 186.0 215.323595506 86% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.596153846154 0.4932671777 121% => OK
syllable_count: 543.6 704.065955056 77% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59117977528 107% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 6.24550561798 64% => OK
Article: 1.0 4.99550561798 20% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.10617977528 32% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.77640449438 225% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 6.0 4.38483146067 137% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 9.0 20.2370786517 44% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 34.0 23.0359550562 148% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 44.4397219713 60.3974514979 74% => OK
Chars per sentence: 192.888888889 118.986275619 162% => OK
Words per sentence: 34.6666666667 23.4991977007 148% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.44444444444 5.21951772744 123% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 7.80617977528 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 10.2758426966 88% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 5.13820224719 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.83258426966 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.138398363499 0.243740707755 57% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0601463904031 0.0831039109588 72% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.049659780681 0.0758088955206 66% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0875137987954 0.150359130593 58% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0298977489812 0.0667264976115 45% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 22.1 14.1392134831 156% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 28.51 48.8420337079 58% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 14.6 7.92365168539 184% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 17.7 12.1743820225 145% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 15.56 12.1639044944 128% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.78 8.38706741573 117% => OK
difficult_words: 88.0 100.480337079 88% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 20.5 11.8971910112 172% => OK
gunning_fog: 15.6 11.2143820225 139% => OK
text_standard: 16.0 11.7820224719 136% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.