Claim: Even though young people often receive the advice to “follow your dreams,” more emphasis should be placed on picking worthy goals.
Reason: Many people’s dreams are inherently selfish.
Dreams are what we are made of. For many of us, the reason that drives us to work is the fulfillment of our dreams. Some aspire to be academicians, others entertainers. Some wish to be global leaders, while others want to serve the world. Everyone has a different dream which defines them and shapes their actions. The society urges youngsters to follow their dreams and make it happen. However, there is a claim to lay more emphasis on picking worthy goals. As the dreams of many people are inherently selfish in nature and need to be changed.
I am not particlarly in favour of this argument. First of all, who decides which dreams are worthy and which are not? If according to the claim ,a dream is worthy only when it is selfless and is for the welfare of the society then self, then who will earn. If everyone wants to serve in the military to protect their borders, who will fund them. For many youngsters and rightly so, the dream is to follow their passion. People who dream to and own a business empire often engage in philanthropic activities and give back to the society. It is only possible when people acquire the money and resources to serve themselves and others.
People who aspire to be doctors , engineers or scientists although follow an inherent selfish dream , ultimately end up serving the people selflessly and contribute to the development of the society. Artists also cannot be termed selfish because they entertain people, make them happy and that in itself is a selfless job.
However, their are some goals which can never in any way be good to the society. If a young child wants to be a terrorist, as is the case in many terror concentrated areas where children are influneced by men in guns and aspire to be like them, such a dream should be nipped in the bud. Young people should be made to realise the difference between a good and a bad dream. Only such aspirations that are detrimental to the society should be curbed. Adolf Hitler too had a selfless dream to bring about better situations for his countrymen but the means he resorted to fulfill his dream make him the evil personality he turned out to be.
Therefore, people should be advised to follow their dreams and passions as long as these dreams are not harmful and the means used to realize these dreams are not detrimental to the society.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 144, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...which are not? If according to the claim ,a dream is worthy only when it is selfle...
^^
Line 5, column 32, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ers. People who aspire to be doctors , engineers or scientists although follow...
^^
Line 5, column 100, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...lthough follow an inherent selfish dream , ultimately end up serving the people se...
^^
Line 7, column 10, Rule ID: THEIR_IS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'there'?
Suggestion: there
...n itself is a selfless job. However, their are some goals which can never in any w...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 37, Rule ID: ADVERB_WORD_ORDER[9]
Message: The adverb 'never' is usually put before the verb 'can'.
Suggestion: never can
... However, their are some goals which can never in any way be good to the society. If a...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 142, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun terror seems to be countable; consider using: 'many terrors'.
Suggestion: many terrors
...ts to be a terrorist, as is the case in many terror concentrated areas where children are i...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, so, then, therefore, while, such as, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 32.0 19.5258426966 164% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.4196629213 72% => OK
Conjunction : 18.0 14.8657303371 121% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 11.3162921348 133% => OK
Pronoun: 32.0 33.0505617978 97% => OK
Preposition: 51.0 58.6224719101 87% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 12.9106741573 31% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1928.0 2235.4752809 86% => OK
No of words: 415.0 442.535393258 94% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.64578313253 5.05705443957 92% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.51348521516 4.55969084622 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.51385981504 2.79657885939 90% => OK
Unique words: 207.0 215.323595506 96% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.498795180723 0.4932671777 101% => OK
syllable_count: 599.4 704.065955056 85% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.59117977528 88% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 6.24550561798 48% => OK
Article: 4.0 4.99550561798 80% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.10617977528 193% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.77640449438 0% => OK
Preposition: 0.0 4.38483146067 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 20.2370786517 114% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 23.0359550562 78% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 49.0786568252 60.3974514979 81% => OK
Chars per sentence: 83.8260869565 118.986275619 70% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.0434782609 23.4991977007 77% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.47826086957 5.21951772744 67% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 7.80617977528 77% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 10.2758426966 165% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 5.13820224719 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.83258426966 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.280482741946 0.243740707755 115% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0856171346729 0.0831039109588 103% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.070145759316 0.0758088955206 93% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.169891000182 0.150359130593 113% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0423199029146 0.0667264976115 63% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.5 14.1392134831 67% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 70.13 48.8420337079 144% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.92365168539 39% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.9 12.1743820225 65% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.39 12.1639044944 77% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.65 8.38706741573 91% => OK
difficult_words: 82.0 100.480337079 82% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 5.0 11.8971910112 42% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.2143820225 82% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.7820224719 85% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.