Claim: Governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive.Reason: It is primarily in cities that a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated.Write a response in which you discuss

Essay topics:

Claim: Governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive.

Reason: It is primarily in cities that a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim and the reason on which that claim is based.

The writer of the issue contends that it is essential that governments make sure that their main cities are provided with sufficient financial support in order to succeed since a nation’s cultural traditions basically are protected and formed in these places. However, I agree with neither the claim nor the reason mostly because I find them both problematic.

First of all, it seems to be a wrong policy to only concentrate on major cities in a country. It means that there are many small cities in a country playing pivotal roles in reviving the traditional cultures of countries mostly due to a series of significant chronological events happed there over the bygone eras. Take Kashan city in Iran as a clear example. Although Kashan is neither a metropolis nor the capital of my country, it is one of the most focal areas in Iran mostly because of its impressive monuments and local subculture, so it is a fallacious claim to emphasis only on major cities.

Even if we assume that enough financial support is given to major cities, I believe that there are some other all-important factors, such as good management in different parts of the government, which help these cities to thrive. In fact, many major cities all around the world are confronting with corruptions such as embezzlement of their governors, wasting a prodigious amount of budgetary money dedicated to them in order to be spent on both different cultural programs and preservation of their ancient monuments. Indeed, only making sure that enough money is given to major cities definitely may not guarantee their progresses.

As I already stated, I find the reason problematic too. Even if we now assume that major cities are receiving enough money in order to thrive, it is specious to say that it is only in major cities that a nation’s cultural tradition is initiated and protected. It means that we inherited our cultures from our ancestors who were living in either smaller cities than today’s metropolises or even far away villages, so it is not fundamentally correct to opine that cultural traditions are primarily generated in big urban areas. Besides, there are many small cities which are richer culturally than some big cities. Hamedan in Iran, for instance, is one of the main cities with rich history and unique traditions located in a small province. Thus, giving little credence to small cities in favor of major cities may endanger the safety of a nation’s culture.

Votes
Average: 8.3 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Comments

Transition Words or Phrases used:
besides, first, however, if, may, so, thus, for instance, in fact, such as, first of all

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 19.5258426966 118% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 2.0 12.4196629213 16% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 14.8657303371 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 15.0 11.3162921348 133% => OK
Pronoun: 41.0 33.0505617978 124% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 56.0 58.6224719101 96% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 12.9106741573 54% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2073.0 2235.4752809 93% => OK
No of words: 412.0 442.535393258 93% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.03155339806 5.05705443957 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.50530610838 4.55969084622 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.83356712444 2.79657885939 101% => OK
Unique words: 209.0 215.323595506 97% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.507281553398 0.4932671777 103% => OK
syllable_count: 672.3 704.065955056 95% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 6.24550561798 128% => OK
Article: 1.0 4.99550561798 20% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.10617977528 129% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.77640449438 0% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.38483146067 23% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 20.2370786517 74% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 27.0 23.0359550562 117% => OK
Sentence length SD: 81.2540597276 60.3974514979 135% => OK
Chars per sentence: 138.2 118.986275619 116% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.4666666667 23.4991977007 117% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.86666666667 5.21951772744 112% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 7.80617977528 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 10.2758426966 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 5.13820224719 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.83258426966 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.346604401072 0.243740707755 142% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.116467655843 0.0831039109588 140% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.064128829252 0.0758088955206 85% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.205753124457 0.150359130593 137% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0564121235742 0.0667264976115 85% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.0 14.1392134831 113% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 44.07 48.8420337079 90% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 12.1743820225 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.19 12.1639044944 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.96 8.38706741573 107% => OK
difficult_words: 104.0 100.480337079 104% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 11.8971910112 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 11.2143820225 114% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.7820224719 119% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.


Rates: 83.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.