College students should base their choice of a field of study on the availability of jobs in that field.
Should college students base their choice of a field of study on the availability of jobs in that field as the writer contends? Many people would think that the critical criteria for choice of a field of study must be based on how possibly they can succeed to find their jobs. However, I disagree with the writer’s argument. This is because the essential reason for presence of colleges is not to educate people who will work after graduation but to flourish fields of studies in our society as well as educate future scholars. Colleges have continuously acted as a mother of scholars and leaded our lives into societies with plenty of diversity.
First, colleges have born many great figures with high level of erudition. Take Isaac Newton, for example. He was one of the greatest physicists in our entire history. He laid foundation of human’s understanding about natural phenomena. His greatest contribution to physics can be summarized into Newton’s law of motion and differentiation, which are importantly dealt with even now. In this way, colleges have leaded fields of studies to develop over time and opened new generation with high technology. Colleges should not be regarded as school to raise future workers but to develop studies that will enrich our society.
Moreover, the number of fields of studies is the most precious resource to our society. Diversity has given human chances to develop by letting people be able to see the other aspects that they could not have seen had they not been various. Most of all, the diversity of human society definitely can be enriched with various kinds of studies. This is why we have to choose a field of study with our own aptitude or preference. If we just chose the field of study with the availability of jobs, fields with low availability would lose the number of students and it would lead the fields to fade away. To keep our society’s diversity, students should not be affected by their future possibility to get a job.
In Korean idiom, one says “A society without diversity would necessarily disappear.” As having seen the foregoing examples, colleges play fairly important role to keep our lives various and enriched. Therefore, I disagree with the writer’s opinion. If colleges had not showed up in our history, we might be still in the medieval period.
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, however, if, moreover, so, still, therefore, well, for example, as well as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 19.5258426966 72% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.4196629213 121% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 14.8657303371 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 6.0 11.3162921348 53% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 31.0 33.0505617978 94% => OK
Preposition: 66.0 58.6224719101 113% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 12.9106741573 70% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1966.0 2235.4752809 88% => OK
No of words: 392.0 442.535393258 89% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.01530612245 5.05705443957 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.44960558625 4.55969084622 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.81938886304 2.79657885939 101% => OK
Unique words: 206.0 215.323595506 96% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.525510204082 0.4932671777 107% => OK
syllable_count: 621.9 704.065955056 88% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 6.24550561798 128% => OK
Article: 3.0 4.99550561798 60% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.10617977528 97% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.77640449438 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.38483146067 68% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.2370786517 104% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 23.0359550562 78% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 47.5022854206 60.3974514979 79% => OK
Chars per sentence: 93.619047619 118.986275619 79% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.6666666667 23.4991977007 79% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.09523809524 5.21951772744 78% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 7.80617977528 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 10.2758426966 107% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 5.13820224719 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.83258426966 145% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.372193141482 0.243740707755 153% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.118812678482 0.0831039109588 143% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.192239024806 0.0758088955206 254% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.237447282033 0.150359130593 158% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.169841513735 0.0667264976115 255% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.5 14.1392134831 81% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 53.21 48.8420337079 109% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.1743820225 85% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.84 12.1639044944 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.4 8.38706741573 100% => OK
difficult_words: 96.0 100.480337079 96% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 11.8971910112 88% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.2143820225 82% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.7820224719 102% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.