The following appeared in an article written by Dr. Karp, an anthropologist.
“Twenty years ago, Dr. Field, a noted anthropologist, visited the island of Tertia and
concluded from his observations that children in Tertia were reared by an entire village
rather than by their own biological parents. However, my recent interviews with children
living in the group of islands that includes Tertia show that these children spend much more
time talking about their biological parents than about other adults in the village. This
research of mine proves that Dr. Field’s conclusion about Tertian village culture is invalid
and thus that the observation-centered approach to studying cultures is invalid as well. The
interview-centered method that my team of graduate students is currently using in Tertia will
establish a much more accurate understanding of child-rearing traditions there and in other
island cultures.”
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the
argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
Dr. Karp contends that an interview-centered method is much more accurate to understand child-rearing traditions in Tertia than an observation-centered approach that Dr. field used twenty years ago is. To support the argument, Dr. Karp provides the evidence; it turned out that the children in Tertia spend much more time talking about their biological parents by applying the interview-centered method. It might appear to be credible at first glance that the interview-centered method gives more reliable information; however, closer scrutiny reveals that it lacks substantiated evidence and is therefore problematic as it stands.
The speaker assumes that the fact that the Tertia children talks about their biological parents most of the time implies the observation-centered method was wrong. However, the speaker overlooks that the children-rearing tradition which prevailed twenty years ago has changed over time. For example, there was not any strong public desire for democracy and equality in Korea twenty years ago. It took nothing more than twenty years for people in Korea to have a strong opinion on democracy and equality. Likewise, the way to rear children in Tertia also would have experienced fast changes. To support this evidence, the speaker has to provide evidence that the tradition has not changed.
Moreover, the evidence that the children spent much more time talking about their biological parents does not fully support the speaker’s argument. Even though children are reared by the entire village, it does not change that they are kids of parents and thus they are expected to have a strong affinity to their biological parents anyhow. One of my cousins was raised by my mother for her infant days but she felt stronger linkage to her mother. Because it can be assumed that biological parents would give much more love to their children than any other in Tertia, this reasoning can appear to be misleading. Unless the speaker provides data that can show the fact regardless of personal fondness, this inference is erroneous.
Finally, the speaker’s conclusion is based on a vague term and insufficient data. For instance, the speaker uses ‘much more time’ to lead to the conclusion that Thertian children are normally reared by their parents. Besides, it also lacks detailed data about methods that Dr. Field and Dr. Karp have used, which will help better criticize the methods. In order to make the argument credible, the speaker should clarify what the speaker mentions with more detailed information. Without having more information, it would not be so easy for readers to make confident conclusion.
In sum, the speaker’s assertion is not well supported. To strengthen it, the speaker should provide sufficient evidence that will eliminate all the above doubts and questions. To better assess the assertion, the speaker has to make further evidence such as 1) trend of Tertian tradition and 2) data regardless of personal fondness, which shows by whom children have been reared.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
samples:
https://www.testbig.com/story/gre-argument-essay-topic-21-outline
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 2.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 480 350
No. of Characters: 2479 1500
No. of Different Words: 215 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.681 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.165 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.851 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 187 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 143 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 95 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 50 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.818 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.932 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.636 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.336 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.541 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.133 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, finally, first, however, if, likewise, look, moreover, so, then, therefore, thus, well, as to, for example, for instance, such as, talking about
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.6327345309 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 20.0 13.6137724551 147% => OK
Pronoun: 42.0 28.8173652695 146% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 50.0 55.5748502994 90% => OK
Nominalization: 22.0 16.3942115768 134% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2566.0 2260.96107784 113% => OK
No of words: 480.0 441.139720559 109% => OK
Chars per words: 5.34583333333 5.12650576532 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.68069463864 4.56307096286 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.00524714735 2.78398813304 108% => OK
Unique words: 233.0 204.123752495 114% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.485416666667 0.468620217663 104% => OK
syllable_count: 775.8 705.55239521 110% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 4.96107784431 161% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.22255489022 189% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 44.271047196 57.8364921388 77% => OK
Chars per sentence: 116.636363636 119.503703932 98% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.8181818182 23.324526521 94% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.45454545455 5.70786347227 131% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.25449101796 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.189501656744 0.218282227539 87% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0586310006367 0.0743258471296 79% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0737585544343 0.0701772020484 105% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.109821209958 0.128457276422 85% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0736903826583 0.0628817314937 117% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.7 14.3799401198 102% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 48.3550499002 104% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.197005988 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.75 12.5979740519 109% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.56 8.32208582834 103% => OK
difficult_words: 118.0 98.500998004 120% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 12.3882235529 117% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.9071856287 126% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.