Some people believe that corporations have a responsibility to promote the wellbeing
of the societies and environments in which they operate. Others believe that
the only responsibility of corporations, provided they operate within the law, is to
make as much money as possible.
Should the corporations have a responsibility to promote the well-being of societies and environments in which they operate? Some people believe that what corporations have to do is just to make as much money as they can because their right supported by laws is to pursue their profits. However, it has been proven that this opinion is now obsolete. I contend that corporations have to pursue the well-being of communities and even the world to not only redistribute their wealth from people around, but also make the most of their resources. The concept of CSR (Corporate Social Responsibility) has emphasized the fact that companies definitely have their duty in communities and by doing their best on the duty, corporations can improve their profits.
The reason why the corporations have a responsibility to communities can be simply elucidated. Corporations collect their fortune from the people in communities in which they operate. Even though any laws do not rule corporation’s responsibility in societies (simply because the ideology, Capitalism does not allow planned economy), corporations have to find the way that communities develop together with the corporations because they can develop further only when markets get bigger by means that consumers in communities also develop.
One of the examples would be Nongshim, one of the well-known international companies, which has had a big issue about financial corruption. It means that it did not carefully deal with its duty that it has to redistribute its wealth which it has collected from citizens in Korea. It was a fairly stunning issue, and eventually its market share in Korea has been decreased drastically. It was the biggest Ramen company once, but now is overtaken by Ottoogi that has shown their careful contribution to communities. The company’s redistribution to the communities does not mean loss of wealth, but rather a creation of brand-new values.
In Korean idiom, one says “The best way to climb to higher places is to pursue it together.” The corporations definitely have a strong responsibility to contribute to communities that they conduct economic activities and it makes improvement of not only the communities but also the corporations. Therefore, I strongly contend that corporations have a responsibility to the societies and they should take actions for the responsibility. This may be why CEOs in leading companies highlight the concept of CSR and take the initiative in it.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 386, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...n Korea has been decreased drastically. It was the biggest Ramen company once, but...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, however, may, so, therefore, well, as to
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 19.5258426966 72% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 12.4196629213 64% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 14.8657303371 74% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 11.3162921348 141% => OK
Pronoun: 43.0 33.0505617978 130% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 52.0 58.6224719101 89% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 12.9106741573 46% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2101.0 2235.4752809 94% => OK
No of words: 393.0 442.535393258 89% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.34605597964 5.05705443957 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.45244063426 4.55969084622 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.32347472834 2.79657885939 119% => OK
Unique words: 184.0 215.323595506 85% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.468193384224 0.4932671777 95% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 664.2 704.065955056 94% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59117977528 107% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 6.24550561798 112% => OK
Article: 5.0 4.99550561798 100% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.10617977528 32% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.77640449438 225% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 1.0 4.38483146067 23% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 20.2370786517 79% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 24.0 23.0359550562 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 76.2961950231 60.3974514979 126% => OK
Chars per sentence: 131.3125 118.986275619 110% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.5625 23.4991977007 105% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.1875 5.21951772744 61% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 7.80617977528 13% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 10.2758426966 107% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 5.13820224719 39% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.83258426966 62% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.284505833545 0.243740707755 117% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.104429094087 0.0831039109588 126% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.111305084015 0.0758088955206 147% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.174899296091 0.150359130593 116% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.094146590668 0.0667264976115 141% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.0 14.1392134831 113% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 38.66 48.8420337079 79% => OK
smog_index: 13.0 7.92365168539 164% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 12.1743820225 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.05 12.1639044944 116% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.4 8.38706741573 100% => OK
difficult_words: 89.0 100.480337079 89% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 11.8971910112 101% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.2143820225 103% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.7820224719 102% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.