Educational institutions should actively encourage their students to choose fields of study that will prepare them for lucrative careers.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.
Today, although there are some messes, the global economy is growing in total. The population of the developed countries and the number of developed countries is increasing and the size of essential industries and the luxurious product industries is getting bigger. it seems natural to listen to advices from parents and friends to grab a chance to get gold and silver in one's hand. however, it is difficult to agree that educational institutions should actively encourage their students to choose fields of study that will prepare them for lucrative careers.
proponents of the statement would say that persuading students to take lucrative career is a good thing to do. although there is another subject in whom the student is talented, if the career path of the subject can't bring enough wealth, it is better to have it as a hobby and choose peripheral course that may bring wealth. however, this prospective view is not right because the main goal of life is not money, it is happiness. The proponents will refute that having enough money will make a person happy, so pursuing money is not a bad decision to make. however, according to the research, it's been told that the amount of asset and happiness is not proportional. Even on some range, the happiness declines as the amount of asset increases.
Rather than encouraging students to pursue money, the educational institutions should encourage students to pursue happiness. life stands before career and one of the main goals of life is to live a happy life. Furthermore, it is the institutions' authority to help students to live a happy life. During the basic education, anterior step of choosing the career, they would teach about the basis to encourage students to think about the path they should choose. At the advanced education such as high school, university and graduated school, student choose what will be best for their own life and decide the specific field of study wich will be oneself filled with joy. standing beside them, institutions' job is to help students to guide them if they are going on a wrong path, advise them when they have some disorder about their path. The guiding and advising will be based on how the student could live a happier life.
Human is having a career for life, not living a life for career. thinking about the reason why the educational institutions exist, they should encourage students to pursue happiness.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 267, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...s product industries is getting bigger. it seems natural to listen to advices from...
^^
Line 1, column 373, Rule ID: ONES[1]
Message: Did you mean 'one's'?
Suggestion: one's
...grab a chance to get gold and silver in ones hand. however, it is difficult to agree...
^^^^
Line 1, column 384, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: However
...ce to get gold and silver in ones hand. however, it is difficult to agree that educatio...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Proponents
...epare them for lucrative careers. proponents of the statement would say that persuad...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 213, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
...nted, if the career path of the subject cant bring enough wealth, it is better to ha...
^^^^
Line 5, column 326, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: However
...eripheral course that may bring wealth. however, this prospective view is not right bec...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 558, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: However
...ng money is not a bad decision to make. however, according to the research, its been to...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 127, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Life
...encourage students to pursue happiness. life stands before career and one of the mai...
^^^^
Line 9, column 235, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'institutions'' or 'institution's'?
Suggestion: institutions'; institution's
...ve a happy life. Furthermore, it is the institutions authority to help students to live a ha...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 671, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Standing
...y wich will be oneself filled with joy. standing beside them, institutions job is to hel...
^^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 66, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Thinking
...for life, not living a life for career. thinking about the reason why the educational in...
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
furthermore, however, if, may, so, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 19.5258426966 118% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.4196629213 113% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 14.8657303371 74% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.3162921348 71% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 27.0 33.0505617978 82% => OK
Preposition: 50.0 58.6224719101 85% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 12.9106741573 31% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2020.0 2235.4752809 90% => OK
No of words: 407.0 442.535393258 92% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.96314496314 5.05705443957 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.49157444576 4.55969084622 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.61178783332 2.79657885939 93% => OK
Unique words: 202.0 215.323595506 94% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.496314496314 0.4932671777 101% => OK
syllable_count: 622.8 704.065955056 88% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 6.24550561798 144% => OK
Article: 6.0 4.99550561798 120% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.10617977528 97% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.77640449438 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.38483146067 68% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.2370786517 94% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 23.0359550562 91% => OK
Sentence length SD: 45.065541682 60.3974514979 75% => OK
Chars per sentence: 106.315789474 118.986275619 89% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.4210526316 23.4991977007 91% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.21052631579 5.21951772744 42% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 11.0 7.80617977528 141% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 10.2758426966 165% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 5.13820224719 19% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.83258426966 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.253200130307 0.243740707755 104% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.079923728576 0.0831039109588 96% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.117488454582 0.0758088955206 155% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.161545736565 0.150359130593 107% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0785950630108 0.0667264976115 118% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.6 14.1392134831 89% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 58.62 48.8420337079 120% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.1743820225 85% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.49 12.1639044944 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.78 8.38706741573 93% => OK
difficult_words: 80.0 100.480337079 80% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 11.8971910112 97% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.2143820225 93% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.7820224719 102% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.