The following appeared in a memorandum from a dean at Omega University.
"Fifteen years ago, Omega University implemented a new procedure that encouraged
students to evaluate the teaching effectiveness of all their professors. Since that time, Omega
professors have begun to assign higher grades in their classes, and overall student grade
averages at Omega have risen by thirty percent. Potential employers apparently believe the
grades at Omega are inflated; this would explain why Omega graduates have not been as
successful at getting jobs as have graduates from nearby Alpha University. To enable its
graduates to secure better jobs, Omega University should now terminate student evaluation of
professors."
In a memorandum from the dean at Omega University it states the need to stop the student evaluation of professors for graduates to have better job opportunities. The author cites the decrease of job opportunties that seem to have declined putatively because of the student evaluation of professors. Before proceesing the author should provide more evidences to address the following three questions or concerns to strengthen the argument.
Does the rise in student grades at Omega by thirty percent in entirely justfiable by the evalutaion system of professors? It is highly possible that the increase in marks might be a result of the enhanced understanding between the teacher and student. Perhaps, following the evaluations the professors have become more assiduous in their teaching and grading which is bound to result into the increase in the marks of all students by a certain percentage. Thus, the author might evaluate the weightage of marks that has actually been caused due to inflations by professors or if it has been due to the mutual benefit in an academic exchange like this. Moreover the students will be encouraged to strive harder where their efforts are being considered by their professors and are appropriately being rewarded.
Does the Alpha University have any other feature that ensures higher jopb prospects for it's students? Perhaps, the Alpha University has placement policies and other factors that results into an aggrandized amount of placements in comaparison to those in Omega University. For example the Alpha University might be focussing on long term campus relations, memorandums of understandings, and university programs with the companies which ensure a steady source of job prospects for it's students. It is possible that due to the lack of such policies or efforts the Omega University graduates might be losing out on similar opportunities.
In sum, the argument made by the Dean of Omega University in his memorandum stands weak. The author needs to provide more evidences by possibly interacting and conducting student surveys regarding the evaluation, along with other factors that might be the reason of the Omega University lacking in job opportunities than that of Alpha University. With the above stated evidence the author can come to a more definitive conclusion with a stronger argument to bolster it.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 239, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... opportunties that seem to have declined putatively because of the student evalua...
^^
Line 2, column 652, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Moreover,
...efit in an academic exchange like this. Moreover the students will be encouraged to stri...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 354, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...focussing on long term campus relations, memorandums of understandings, and unive...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, if, moreover, regarding, so, then, thus, for example
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 19.5258426966 72% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.4196629213 72% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 14.8657303371 61% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.3162921348 97% => OK
Pronoun: 21.0 33.0505617978 64% => OK
Preposition: 65.0 58.6224719101 111% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 12.9106741573 62% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1985.0 2235.4752809 89% => OK
No of words: 375.0 442.535393258 85% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.29333333333 5.05705443957 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.40055868397 4.55969084622 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.97556986139 2.79657885939 106% => OK
Unique words: 185.0 215.323595506 86% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.493333333333 0.4932671777 100% => OK
syllable_count: 639.9 704.065955056 91% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59117977528 107% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 6.24550561798 32% => OK
Article: 5.0 4.99550561798 100% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.10617977528 32% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.77640449438 56% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.38483146067 114% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 20.2370786517 74% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 25.0 23.0359550562 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 44.7324888147 60.3974514979 74% => OK
Chars per sentence: 132.333333333 118.986275619 111% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.0 23.4991977007 106% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.13333333333 5.21951772744 79% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 7.80617977528 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 10.2758426966 88% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 5.13820224719 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.83258426966 62% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.310238366983 0.243740707755 127% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.111842600983 0.0831039109588 135% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0880751353403 0.0758088955206 116% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.189655736267 0.150359130593 126% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0356938618862 0.0667264976115 53% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.0 14.1392134831 113% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 37.64 48.8420337079 77% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.92365168539 141% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.2 12.1743820225 117% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.7 12.1639044944 113% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.13 8.38706741573 109% => OK
difficult_words: 101.0 100.480337079 101% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 11.8971910112 101% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.2143820225 107% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.7820224719 102% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.