Formal education tends to restrain our minds and spirits rather than set them free.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.
The topic can be interpreted from different angles before examining the effect of formal education on our minds and spirits. Indubitably, the kind of formal education that is given to the youth and children degrades their creativity and individualism. It does not support the spiritual wellness of the students and focusses only on the study and training of students to deal with the practical world. Nevertheless, it trains our minds to think and imagine to its utmost potential. It helps to cultivate a disciplined way to live a life. Hence, I believe that formal education helps our minds and spirits to get free by making us a wise and knowledgeable being.
First of all, formal education makes our minds capable to think beyond the possibilities and develops individual's interest to dedicate his/her life to create something extraordinary. This is only possible for an individual by crossing the boundaries of his brain power and make his mind free to imagine and solve the enigmatic problems. To illustrate, a well designed formal education has bill gates to build his knowledge about computers which eventually helped him to develop world's most user-friendly computer software. Furthermore, without formal education, our minds will be wandering with the purpose to achieve miracles and make this world a better place to live without knowing any navigation. Thus, we will be lost and would not be able to reach our targets. Consequently, formal education helps our minds to go beyond the limitations of training and developing its power and capacity.
Admittedly, during the course of formal education, an individual's preternatural creativity gets hampered. This is especially when one is not able to cope up with the stresses and could not make time to pursue his hobbies and passions. However, with proper guidance, this negative impact of the education can be nullified and can be molded to help oneself to become better at his passions. Hence, one should not hold to the intensity of formal education to ruin one's creativity as a reason offend the benefits which it gives to oneself.
In conclusion, although formal education causes loss of creativity in some circumstances, it cannot be postulated that it tends to restrain one's mind and spirit for being free. As long as one is getting a well designed formal education, it only adds strengths to his life and modifies his way of doing and thinking about things to a positive extent.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 13, Rule ID: DURING_THE_COURSE_OF[1]
Message: Use simply 'during'.
Suggestion: during
... its power and capacity. Admittedly, during the course of formal education, an individuals preter...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 52, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[1]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'an individual' or simply 'individuals'?
Suggestion: an individual; individuals
... during the course of formal education, an individuals preternatural creativity gets hampered....
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 462, Rule ID: ONES[1]
Message: Did you mean 'one's'?
Suggestion: one's
...e intensity of formal education to ruin ones creativity as a reason offend the benef...
^^^^
Line 7, column 351, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...king about things to a positive extent.
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
consequently, first, furthermore, hence, however, if, nevertheless, so, thus, well, in conclusion, kind of, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 19.5258426966 72% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.4196629213 72% => OK
Conjunction : 21.0 14.8657303371 141% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 11.3162921348 53% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 39.0 33.0505617978 118% => OK
Preposition: 61.0 58.6224719101 104% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 12.9106741573 108% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2052.0 2235.4752809 92% => OK
No of words: 402.0 442.535393258 91% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.10447761194 5.05705443957 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.47771567384 4.55969084622 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.90811234276 2.79657885939 104% => OK
Unique words: 211.0 215.323595506 98% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.524875621891 0.4932671777 106% => OK
syllable_count: 647.1 704.065955056 92% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 6.24550561798 176% => OK
Article: 4.0 4.99550561798 80% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.10617977528 64% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.77640449438 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.38483146067 114% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 20.2370786517 89% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 23.0359550562 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 38.2651567646 60.3974514979 63% => OK
Chars per sentence: 114.0 118.986275619 96% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.3333333333 23.4991977007 95% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.66666666667 5.21951772744 128% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 7.80617977528 51% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 10.2758426966 127% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 5.13820224719 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.83258426966 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.197378227722 0.243740707755 81% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0672116582742 0.0831039109588 81% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0440607191267 0.0758088955206 58% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.130213989623 0.150359130593 87% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0275772673981 0.0667264976115 41% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.8 14.1392134831 98% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 48.8420337079 101% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.92365168539 141% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.1743820225 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.6 12.1639044944 104% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.42 8.38706741573 100% => OK
difficult_words: 94.0 100.480337079 94% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 11.8971910112 76% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.2143820225 96% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.7820224719 93% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 54.17 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.25 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.