A nation should require all of its students to study the same national curriculum until they enter college.
Some people argue that students should learn the same national curriculum until they enter college. In order to support his claim, the apologists of the idea points to the advantages of the same national curriculum. The standardized program can efficiently supply students with the shared values in the society. Given that one of the purpose of education is to cultivate democratic citizen, it is important to hand down the democratic value through the same curriculum designed by democratic government. In my opinion, the claims have some reasonable points, still lack consideration of many other valuable aspects of purpose of education. In particular, the proponents of the claims fail to consider the possibility that true democratic value can be shared with students more effectively with the autonomy of education. Furthermore, the standardized curriculum may be even deleterious to spirit of democracy.
Democracy is not a political system which is given naturally to human being. Rather,the system is a result of many predecessors' efforts. Because of the fact that the democracy is invented by human hands, it denotes that the members of the democracy should be kept alert to maintain and preserve the system handed down from earlier generation. And the best way of the preserving the system is to educate democratic value to younger generation with the great care. Therefore, it is reasonable to argue that all the school for young students should teach them democratic values.
However, this idea does not imply the claims that all the school must to decide to teach same curriculum designed by central government. It is true that the same and standardized curriculum will be efficient and economical in some aspects. However, when we consider boarder aspects, it seems obvious that the same curriculum would not be efficient as much as it is expected to be. For example, these fixed form of education is less likely reflect the distinctions of individual students. In fact, the essence of the democracy is to respect the difference of the individuals. However, once the programs in schools are fixed by government, the probability for educator to interact with individual students with autonomy decreases. Moreover, these standardized curriculum which may be invented regardless of autonomy can be harmful to the spirit of the democracy. Because the freedom of individuals and harmony with diversity is one of the most important virtue of the democracy, but the fixed education is too inflexible to cultivate these virtues. Furthermore, if the government have all the right to form and run the national curriculum, there will be potential danger of manipulation committed by government. That is, the national curriculum can drive majority of the people into same direction in thinking. It must be serious sign for existence of democracy.
In conclusion, as we have seen above, the education is important to maintain and preserve the value of democracy. However, it does not mean the the education curriculum should be standardized and fixed. Rather, the inflexible curriculum would be less efficient in many aspect, and there are even serious potential danger that the same curriculum can damage the spirit of democracy.
some people argue that students should learn the same national curriculum until they enter college. In order to support his claim, the apologists of the idea points to the advantages of the same national curriculum. The standardized program can efficiently supply students with the shared values in the society. given that one of the purpose of education is to cultivate democratic citizen, it is important to hand down the democratic value through the same curriculum designed by democratic government. In my opinion, the claims have some reasonable points, still lack consideration of many other valuable aspects of purpose of education. In particular, the proponents of the claims fail to consider the possibility that true democratic value can be shared with students more effectively with the autonomy of education. furthermore, the standardized curriculum may be even deleterious to spirit of democracy.
democracy is not a political system which is given naturally to human being. Rather,the system is a result of many predecessors' efforts. because of the fact that the democracy is invented by human hands, it denotes that the members of the democracy should be kept alert to maintain and preserve the system handed down from earlier generation. And the best way of the preserving the system is to educate democratic value to younger generation with the great care. Therefore, it is reasonable to argue that all the school for young students should teach them democratic values.
however, this idea does not imply the claims that all the school must to decide to teach same curriculum designed by central government. it is true that the same and standardized curriculum will be efficient and economical in some aspects. however, when we consider boarder aspects, it seems obvious that the same curriculum would not be efficient as much as it is expected to be. For example, these fixed form of education is less likely reflect the distinctions of individual students. In fact, the essence of the democracy is to respect the difference of the individuals. however, once the programs in schools are fixed by government, the probability for educator to interact with individual students with autonomy decreases. Moreover, these standardized curriculum which may be invented regardless of autonomy can be harmful to the spirit of the democracy. because the freedom of individuals and harmony with diversity is one of the most important virtue of the democracy, but the fixed education is too inflexible to cultivate these virtues. furthermore, if the government have all the right to form and run the national curriculum, there will be potential danger of manipulation committed by government. that is, the national curriculum can drive majority of the people into same direction in thinking. it must be serious sign for existence of democracy.
In conclusion, as we have seen above, the education is important to maintain and preserve the value of democracy. however, it does not mean the the education curriculum should be standardized and fixed. Rather, the inflexible curriculum would be less efficient in many aspect, and there are even serious potential danger that the same curriculum can damage the spirit of democracy. gue that
Grammar and spelling errors:
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Suggestion: Some
some people argue that students should learn...
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Suggestion: Given
... with the shared values in the society. given that one of the purpose of education is...
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Suggestion: Furthermore
...ctively with the autonomy of education. furthermore, the standardized curriculum may be eve...
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Suggestion: Democracy
... deleterious to spirit of democracy. democracy is not a political system which is give...
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Line 5, column 85, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: , the
... given naturally to human being. Rather,the system is a result of many predecessors...
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Suggestion: Because
... a result of many predecessors efforts. because of the fact that the democracy is inven...
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Line 5, column 139, Rule ID: BECAUSE_OF_THE_FACT_THAT[1]
Message: This phrase is redundant. Use simply 'because'.
Suggestion: because
... a result of many predecessors efforts. because of the fact that the democracy is invented by human hand...
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Suggestion: However
...should teach them democratic values. however, this idea does not imply the claims th...
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Line 7, column 66, Rule ID: MUST_HAVE_TO[1]
Message: After 'must', the verb is used without 'to'. Probably, you should use 'must' or 'have to' here.
Suggestion: must; have to
...ot imply the claims that all the school must to decide to teach same curriculum designe...
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Suggestion: It
...riculum designed by central government. it is true that the same and standardized ...
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Suggestion: However
...ficient and economical in some aspects. however, when we consider boarder aspects, it s...
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Suggestion: However
...pect the difference of the individuals. however, once the programs in schools are fixed...
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Suggestion: Because
...harmful to the spirit of the democracy. because the freedom of individuals and harmony ...
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Suggestion: Furthermore
... inflexible to cultivate these virtues. furthermore, if the government have all the right t...
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Suggestion: That
...f manipulation committed by government. that is, the national curriculum can drive m...
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Suggestion: It
...people into same direction in thinking. it must be serious sign for existence of d...
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Suggestion: However
...in and preserve the value of democracy. however, it does not mean the the education cur...
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Line 9, column 141, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
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Suggestion: the
...of democracy. however, it does not mean the the education curriculum should be standard...
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Line 9, column 141, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'the' or 'the' is left.
Suggestion: the; the
...of democracy. however, it does not mean the the education curriculum should be standard...
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Line 9, column 265, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun aspect seems to be countable; consider using: 'many aspects'.
Suggestion: many aspects
...e curriculum would be less efficient in many aspect, and there are even serious potential d...
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Suggestion: Gue
...lum can damage the spirit of democracy. gue that
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Suggestion:
...damage the spirit of democracy. gue that
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, furthermore, however, if, may, moreover, so, still, therefore, for example, in conclusion, in fact, in particular, in my opinion, it is true
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 31.0 19.5258426966 159% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 12.4196629213 137% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 14.8657303371 67% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 11.3162921348 133% => OK
Pronoun: 30.0 33.0505617978 91% => OK
Preposition: 77.0 58.6224719101 131% => OK
Nominalization: 20.0 12.9106741573 155% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2736.0 2235.4752809 122% => OK
No of words: 517.0 442.535393258 117% => OK
Chars per words: 5.2920696325 5.05705443957 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.76839952204 4.55969084622 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.97384614146 2.79657885939 106% => OK
Unique words: 215.0 215.323595506 100% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.41586073501 0.4932671777 84% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 882.9 704.065955056 125% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59117977528 107% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 6.24550561798 176% => OK
Article: 11.0 4.99550561798 220% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 5.0 3.10617977528 161% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.77640449438 169% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.38483146067 137% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 20.2370786517 128% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 23.0359550562 82% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 45.4010327227 60.3974514979 75% => OK
Chars per sentence: 105.230769231 118.986275619 88% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.8846153846 23.4991977007 85% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.57692307692 5.21951772744 107% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 22.0 7.80617977528 282% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 10.2758426966 136% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 5.13820224719 97% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.83258426966 166% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.28328544139 0.243740707755 116% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0863019615028 0.0831039109588 104% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.148510557169 0.0758088955206 196% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.171543718754 0.150359130593 114% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.115727463738 0.0667264976115 173% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.4 14.1392134831 95% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 43.73 48.8420337079 90% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.92365168539 141% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.1743820225 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.4 12.1639044944 110% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.85 8.38706741573 94% => OK
difficult_words: 107.0 100.480337079 106% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 11.8971910112 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.2143820225 86% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.7820224719 110% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.