In order to reverse the recent decline in our profits, we must reduce operating expenses at Movies Galore’s ten video rental stores. Since we are famous for our special bargains, raising our rental prices is not a viable way to improve profits. Last month our store in downtown Marston significantly decreased its operating expenses by closing at 6:00 P.M. rather than 9:00 P.M. and by reducing its stock by eliminating all movies released more than five years ago. Therefore, in order to increase profits without jeopardizing our reputation for offering great movies at low prices, we recommend implementing similar changes in our other nine Movies Galore stores.
In this argument, the author recommends that recent decline of their profit can be halt by reducing the operating costs. To support his view, the author cites following facts about their video rental shop: (1) they will not increase the rental rate because it will hinder their reputation (2) total time of business should be reduced (3) movies that are older then five years will be removed. However, close scrutiny of each of those facts reveals that none of them lend sound support to his recommendation.
Firstly, the author is sure about the cause of profit decline and it is the operating cost that should be lessen but how one can be so sure about his profit declination. A profit of a company depends upon many things like customers choice, environments of the shop, terms and condition and facilities given by the shop. Without considering any of the other possibilities one can not so easily conclude that operating cost is responsible for this declination. So, authors assumption are kind of baseless and output of a shallow thinking.
Secondly, considering their reputation he will not increase the prize but it can be the reason of profit declination because the purchase cost of videos may have risen over the period of time and it is high time to increase the cost. His stolid and stern decision about the prize reduction is baseless and illogical considering other carcumstances.
Thirdly, his plan about operating cost reduction is also kind of an assumption. He refers about another shop of their own which did cut its cost by lessening total business hours. It can be the case that that area is kind of countryside and people do not hang around at nights. So, he can not compare two different locations considering the same measurements. it can be or may be the case that most people who rent videos mostly come at night time, so this kind of tactless decision may cause him further reduction of profit.Finally, many people have many choices, so by eliminationg the old movies can cause further destruction of profit because at any time any people can crave for any movies so without considering the customers demand such elimination is almost tends to self destruction.
In sum, the author fails to justify his/her recommendation that operating cost is responsible for profit loss. To be more convincing, the author should provide more information perhaps by way of local survey - to justify his/her assumption. Thinking deep about the author's claim, it comes up that those are valueless and a mere assumption without any strong ground.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 349, Rule ID: COMPARISONS_THEN[1]
Message: Did you mean 'older than'?
Suggestion: older than
...ess should be reduced 3 movies that are older then five years will be removed. However, cl...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 355, Rule ID: COMP_THAN[3]
Message: Comparison requires 'than', not 'then' nor 'as'.
Suggestion: than
...ould be reduced 3 movies that are older then five years will be removed. However, cl...
^^^^
Line 1, column 397, Rule ID: CLOSE_SCRUTINY[1]
Message: Use simply 'scrutiny'.
Suggestion: scrutiny
...en five years will be removed. However, close scrutiny of each of those facts reveals that non...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 107, Rule ID: SHOULD_BE_DO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'lessened'?
Suggestion: lessened
...it is the operating cost that should be lessen but how one can be so sure about his pr...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 178, Rule ID: PERIOD_OF_TIME[1]
Message: Use simply 'period'.
Suggestion: period
... cost of videos may have risen over the period of time and it is high time to increase the cos...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 10, column 58, Rule ID: KIND_OF_A[1]
Message: Don't include 'an' after a classification term. Use simply 'kind of'.
Suggestion: kind of
... about operating cost reduction is also kind of an assumption. He refers about another sho...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 10, column 289, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...do not hang around at nights. So, he can not compare two different locations cons...
^^
Line 10, column 362, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...ions considering the same measurements. it can be or may be the case that most peo...
^^
Line 10, column 527, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Finally
...y cause him further reduction of profit.Finally, many people have many choices, so by e...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, firstly, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, then, third, thirdly, kind of
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 19.5258426966 113% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 19.0 12.4196629213 153% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 14.8657303371 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.3162921348 106% => OK
Pronoun: 43.0 33.0505617978 130% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 58.0 58.6224719101 99% => OK
Nominalization: 20.0 12.9106741573 155% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2146.0 2235.4752809 96% => OK
No of words: 430.0 442.535393258 97% => OK
Chars per words: 4.99069767442 5.05705443957 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.55372829156 4.55969084622 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.76515901947 2.79657885939 99% => OK
Unique words: 208.0 215.323595506 97% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.483720930233 0.4932671777 98% => OK
syllable_count: 668.7 704.065955056 95% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 6.24550561798 112% => OK
Article: 6.0 4.99550561798 120% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 3.10617977528 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.77640449438 0% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.38483146067 137% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.2370786517 84% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 25.0 23.0359550562 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 86.3426023623 60.3974514979 143% => OK
Chars per sentence: 126.235294118 118.986275619 106% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.2941176471 23.4991977007 108% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.17647058824 5.21951772744 118% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 7.80617977528 115% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 10.2758426966 88% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 5.13820224719 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.83258426966 83% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0693231997687 0.243740707755 28% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0238852044975 0.0831039109588 29% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0265625432447 0.0758088955206 35% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0430308089338 0.150359130593 29% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0247551918754 0.0667264976115 37% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.7 14.1392134831 104% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 46.1 48.8420337079 94% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 12.1743820225 107% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.96 12.1639044944 98% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.81 8.38706741573 93% => OK
difficult_words: 80.0 100.480337079 80% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 11.8971910112 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.2143820225 107% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.7820224719 102% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 16.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.