People's behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making.
There is a famous saying “Show me your friends and I will tell you who you are.” Do we live in a society where one person’s behavior is same as the other person’s? The prompt here is suggesting that the behavior of an individual person is caused by external influences. I totally agree with this suggestion.
We are human, one of the greatest aspects of human being is the ability to learn, absorb from the surrounding. How much can a person absorbs from his/her surrounding can affect that person. For instance, there was a research conducted to make a monkey intelligent by raising a baby monkey with a real human baby together; the idea was to make the monkey learn from human baby as they both grow together. The result of this experiment was quite shocking as it was found that instead of monkey picking up human traits, the human baby started to behave like a monkey. Why did this happen? Well, this happened because of human’s ability to absorb and learn from their surrounding is very much higher to that of any other animals. We can clearly understand by the outcome of the above experiment how much human behavior is determined by their surroundings.
A study conducted by many organizations to understand the criminal behaviors are proven conclusively that most violent criminals had a direly bad childhood experiences, childhood abuse, having to listen or see violent behaviors of parents are few of many. As a child go through such trauma that affects the behavior of that child when he reaches adulthood. The place one live in and the way one is being raised will be the major influence of the person’s behavior. If we notice history we can find many great and flawed people who were just a product of the external influences on them. When a child is raised in a loving and supportive family his behavior would a reflection of that as that is what is influencing him. When we take a religion one into most of the time that is due the reason that their parents were part of that religion and people go to any edge to defend that religion even though he was not into that religion by his own choice.
One might say people who lived in a bad neighborhood or bad family situation were not having any bad behaviors and they turned out successful. Yes, there are people who have seen successful and came from bad part of life but things we are not taking into account in here is the people who were a model people are in minimal comparatively and also most people where into bad ways and came out it due to other good external influences they received.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 258, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “As” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...t behaviors of parents are few of many. As a child go through such trauma that aff...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, if, so, well, as to, for instance
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 32.0 19.5258426966 164% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 12.4196629213 64% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 14.8657303371 87% => OK
Relative clauses : 24.0 11.3162921348 212% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 47.0 33.0505617978 142% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 60.0 58.6224719101 102% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 12.9106741573 54% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2144.0 2235.4752809 96% => OK
No of words: 459.0 442.535393258 104% => OK
Chars per words: 4.67102396514 5.05705443957 92% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.62863751936 4.55969084622 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.66991841838 2.79657885939 95% => OK
Unique words: 218.0 215.323595506 101% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.474945533769 0.4932671777 96% => OK
syllable_count: 684.0 704.065955056 97% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 6.24550561798 64% => OK
Article: 6.0 4.99550561798 120% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.10617977528 129% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.77640449438 0% => OK
Preposition: 0.0 4.38483146067 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 20.2370786517 89% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 23.0359550562 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 70.519150713 60.3974514979 117% => OK
Chars per sentence: 119.111111111 118.986275619 100% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.5 23.4991977007 109% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.44444444444 5.21951772744 47% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 7.80617977528 13% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 10.2758426966 88% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 5.13820224719 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.83258426966 103% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.138250420959 0.243740707755 57% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0428975092442 0.0831039109588 52% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0409618342387 0.0758088955206 54% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0798464806092 0.150359130593 53% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0359750870905 0.0667264976115 54% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.3 14.1392134831 94% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 54.56 48.8420337079 112% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.92365168539 39% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.1743820225 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.1 12.1639044944 83% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.8 8.38706741573 93% => OK
difficult_words: 85.0 100.480337079 85% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 11.8971910112 67% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.2143820225 107% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.7820224719 102% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.