People's behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making.Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and suppo

Essay topics:

People's behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

The topic raises a controversy about whether one's actions are manipulated by the environment. It is hard to disagree with this argument since the environment surrounding us indeed has a significant influence on us. Although the notion that a human's behaviors are decided by forces exterior from one's own conscience may seem convincing, I believe that most human behaviors can be controlled by one's thoughts.

First of all, even though there are situations that seem to force one's actions, there is usually an alternative of such an act. For instance, Sally, a child from a impecunious neighborhood stole a bread to alleviate her hunger. Although it seems like Sally, considering she is just a kid didn't have much choice about stealing the bread. On the other hand, if looked closely, she could have taken other actions such as dealing with the owner of the shop and deciding to do menial chores in exchange of some bread. This example can be applied to lots of other examples that looks like, superficially, the situation has determined one's behavior, when actually the person had some other choice that was overlooked. Consequently, it may be the lack of one's free will or conscience to act morally in severe situations.

Next, even though there are various forces that try to shape our behavior, our minds are the ultimate force that decides our actions. For example, however hard Fred's parents persuade him to go to medical school, a force trying to shape Fred's behavior, if Fred just simply decides to enroll in the engineering department, it would be simply impossible for Fred's parents to stop Fred. In this case Fred's mind and willingness to pursue a career in engineering is the interior force that overcomes the exterior force: Fred's parents' persuasion. This example shows that in any situation, one's willingness and thoughts cannot be change by the exterior environment and that the individual can consequently achieve what he/she wants in the end. Hence, it can be argued that a willingness will be enough to overcome the outer forces that may influence one's behaviors.

In conclusion, however tempting it may be to comply to exterior forces, one may be able to shape their behavior by one's thoughts. They can consider other possible options that may seem hidden, or by simply following their hearts, they can be the owners of their fates.

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Average: 1.6 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 46, Rule ID: ONES[1]
Message: Did you mean 'one's'?
Suggestion: one's
...opic raises a controversy about whether ones actions are manipulated by the environm...
^^^^
Line 3, column 68, Rule ID: ONES[1]
Message: Did you mean 'one's'?
Suggestion: one's
...there are situations that seem to force ones actions, there is usually an alternativ...
^^^^
Line 3, column 164, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
... act. For instance, Sally, a child from a impecunious neighborhood stole a bread ...
^
Line 3, column 197, Rule ID: A_UNCOUNTABLE[1]
Message: Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply 'bread'.
Suggestion: bread
...d from a impecunious neighborhood stole a bread to alleviate her hunger. Although it se...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 290, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: didn't
...ke Sally, considering she is just a kid didnt have much choice about stealing the bre...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 630, Rule ID: ONES[1]
Message: Did you mean 'one's'?
Suggestion: one's
...rficially, the situation has determined ones behavior, when actually the person had ...
^^^^
Line 5, column 584, Rule ID: ONES[1]
Message: Did you mean 'one's'?
Suggestion: one's
...is example shows that in any situation, ones willingness and thoughts cannot be chan...
^^^^
Line 5, column 844, Rule ID: ONES[1]
Message: Did you mean 'one's'?
Suggestion: one's
...ome the outer forces that may influence ones behaviors. In conclusion, however te...
^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, consequently, first, hence, however, if, look, may, so, for example, for instance, in conclusion, such as, first of all, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.5258426966 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 12.4196629213 137% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 14.8657303371 40% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 14.0 11.3162921348 124% => OK
Pronoun: 40.0 33.0505617978 121% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 50.0 58.6224719101 85% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 12.9106741573 93% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1969.0 2235.4752809 88% => OK
No of words: 394.0 442.535393258 89% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.99746192893 5.05705443957 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.45527027702 4.55969084622 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.74062789399 2.79657885939 98% => OK
Unique words: 207.0 215.323595506 96% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.52538071066 0.4932671777 107% => OK
syllable_count: 607.5 704.065955056 86% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 6.24550561798 176% => OK
Article: 4.0 4.99550561798 80% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 3.10617977528 225% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.77640449438 56% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.38483146067 91% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 20.2370786517 79% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 24.0 23.0359550562 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 42.6709795997 60.3974514979 71% => OK
Chars per sentence: 123.0625 118.986275619 103% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.625 23.4991977007 105% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.25 5.21951772744 177% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 7.80617977528 102% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 10.2758426966 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 5.13820224719 136% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.83258426966 83% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0745680443826 0.243740707755 31% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.02580684635 0.0831039109588 31% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.019591279807 0.0758088955206 26% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0506249482966 0.150359130593 34% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0128977844183 0.0667264976115 19% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.4 14.1392134831 102% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 55.58 48.8420337079 114% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.1743820225 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.02 12.1639044944 99% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.43 8.38706741573 101% => OK
difficult_words: 90.0 100.480337079 90% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 11.8971910112 97% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.2143820225 103% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.7820224719 102% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.

It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.

Rates: 16.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.