The primary goal of technological advancement should be to increase people's efficiency so that they have more leisure time.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.
There are opinions that our technological development have to focused on increasing people's efficiency, as it provides us more leisure time. I agree that the techenological development helps us to reduce our work payload. however, I also think that these achievements could not necessarily mean we can enjoy more leisure time: first, companies and employers could downplay our performances and reduce our salary. Therefore, we have to find additional job for more money, or our leisure time will be restricted to cost-free hobbies. Second, improving efficiency could lead to a paradoxical result: it could make more workload for each employee.
Firstly, I think the development of technology could lead us a reduced salary: since increased efficiency reduces our time on work, employers might think they do not need to pay more for their employees. they even conclude that they need to reduce their employees for saving their money, as a few people is sufficient to their business thanks to technology. A possible opposition is, my example does not account for the whole situation: jobs requiring creativity and high education will be benefited by increased efficiency without any loss, as they could do more work due to improved efficiency. Moreover, they are not substitutable so they will not fired. I agree their claim, but the opposition does not accout for general situation: most of of jobs requires neither creative nor high education. In these case, people will be replaced with technology, and unfortunate job losers will stray for irregular, low-paid work.
Secondly, ironically, improving efficiency can make more work, so employees will be troubled with endless work. For example, the object of the development of telecommunication is to reduce time for communicate each other. however, its development induces lots of international co-works and interaction, and it results in more work. Furthermore, with the development of computer and mobile devices, employees can perform their jobs at every time, everywhere.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 224, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: However
...nt helps us to reduce our work payload. however, I also think that these achievements c...
^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 205, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: They
...t need to pay more for their employees. they even conclude that they need to reduce ...
^^^^
Line 2, column 653, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: 'fire'
Suggestion: fire
... are not substitutable so they will not fired. I agree their claim, but the oppositio...
^^^^^
Line 2, column 744, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: of
... not accout for general situation: most of of jobs requires neither creative nor high...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 223, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: However
...reduce time for communicate each other. however, its development induces lots of intern...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, furthermore, however, moreover, second, secondly, so, therefore, for example, i think
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 9.0 19.5258426966 46% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 18.0 12.4196629213 145% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 14.8657303371 67% => OK
Relative clauses : 4.0 11.3162921348 35% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 38.0 33.0505617978 115% => OK
Preposition: 29.0 58.6224719101 49% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 14.0 12.9106741573 108% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1714.0 2235.4752809 77% => OK
No of words: 317.0 442.535393258 72% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.40694006309 5.05705443957 107% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.21953715646 4.55969084622 93% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.05846008135 2.79657885939 109% => OK
Unique words: 172.0 215.323595506 80% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.542586750789 0.4932671777 110% => OK
syllable_count: 542.7 704.065955056 77% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59117977528 107% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 6.24550561798 144% => OK
Article: 2.0 4.99550561798 40% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.10617977528 97% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.77640449438 225% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 2.0 4.38483146067 46% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 20.2370786517 74% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 21.0 23.0359550562 91% => OK
Sentence length SD: 44.9473766383 60.3974514979 74% => OK
Chars per sentence: 114.266666667 118.986275619 96% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.1333333333 23.4991977007 90% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.46666666667 5.21951772744 143% => OK
Paragraphs: 3.0 4.97078651685 60% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 5.0 7.80617977528 64% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 10.2758426966 88% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 5.13820224719 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.83258426966 62% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.209510075192 0.243740707755 86% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0843940092405 0.0831039109588 102% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0440234739008 0.0758088955206 58% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.150501118805 0.150359130593 100% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0252635037352 0.0667264976115 38% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.6 14.1392134831 103% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 41.7 48.8420337079 85% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.92365168539 141% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.1743820225 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.1 12.1639044944 116% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.91 8.38706741573 106% => OK
difficult_words: 85.0 100.480337079 85% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 11.8971910112 101% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.2143820225 93% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.7820224719 127% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Minimum four paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.