The primary goal of technological advancement should be to increase people's efficiency so that they have more leisure time.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.
Since the advent of industrial revolution, we have seen increase in technological advancement which have led to increased production process, fast transfer and sharing of information, better healthcare delivery, and much more. These advancements clearly distinguish the current man with his forefathers - who had to struggle with its environment, spending useful time to perform inefficient work, thus, was not better equipped to solve some of the intractable problems that have always confronted man. However, I do not agree that technology advancement though increases efficiency is for the provision of more leisure time. In this article, I will discuss the benefits of technological advancement and how it has made us efficient in confronting our societal challenges which does not equate to more leisure time.
To begin with, the advent of the internet has led many to consider the world as a global village. This has led to the possibility of a lady in faraway Kenya to connect with a friend in Hong Kong. We have seen how people can work from different time zones sharing information in real time. But this does not materialize to having more leisure time, in fact, what we now have is that people can now work round the clock. Since, the internet provides us with access to information, a lot of people now leverage this to study, research for jobs so as they can meet with their financial and social obligations.
Secondly, we now have faster means of transportation. This means that a young scientist from South Korea can attend to a conference being held in South Africa. But this also means that business executives now have to travel more, holding meetings with their counterparts across the globe. This advancement though has significantly increase efficiency, has not led to more leisure time as they now hold frequent meetings and conferences. Politicians are not left out, as they have to follow a regimented schedule in travelling across the length and breadth of their countries to hold rallies and meet people to persuade and sell their ideas as well as answer some of the burning national issues.
Furthermore, we have also experience significant advancement in healthcare delivery. Doctors do not have to spend a lot of time and energy in surgical theatres to carry out operations. Nonetheless, medical practitioners now have to follow a rigorous schedule to attend to patients as well as enroll on courses to understand some of the sophisticated technological devices that make their work more efficient.
Although, I totally agree that technological advancement has led to efficiency in major areas of our endeavor. For example, a lecturer can be on a vacation and still remotely attend to his/her students or a doctor and spouse can be enjoying their honey moon and give real time feedback to patients. This does not suffice to mean more leisure time but increase efficiency and more smarter work.
In sum, technological advancement is meant to enhance efficiency so that we can better confront some of the interactable problems that are facing our society not to have more leisure time
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 437, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
... thus, was not better equipped to solve some of the intractable problems that have always c...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 331, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: 'increased'.
Suggestion: increased
...is advancement though has significantly increase efficiency, has not led to more leisure...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 658, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
... and sell their ideas as well as answer some of the burning national issues. Furthermore, ...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 27, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: 'experienced'.
Suggestion: experienced
...onal issues. Furthermore, we have also experience significant advancement in healthcare d...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 324, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...well as enroll on courses to understand some of the sophisticated technological devices tha...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 409, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Although” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...es that make their work more efficient. Although, I totally agree that technological adv...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 375, Rule ID: MOST_COMPARATIVE[2]
Message: Use only 'smarter' (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
Suggestion: smarter
...eisure time but increase efficiency and more smarter work. In sum, technological advancemen...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 6, column 97, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...ficiency so that we can better confront some of the interactable problems that are facing o...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 6, column 188, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ur society not to have more leisure time
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, furthermore, however, if, nonetheless, second, secondly, so, still, thus, well, for example, in fact, as well as, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 9.0 19.5258426966 46% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 12.4196629213 64% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 14.8657303371 114% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.3162921348 106% => OK
Pronoun: 46.0 33.0505617978 139% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 75.0 58.6224719101 128% => OK
Nominalization: 18.0 12.9106741573 139% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2608.0 2235.4752809 117% => OK
No of words: 510.0 442.535393258 115% => OK
Chars per words: 5.1137254902 5.05705443957 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.75217629947 4.55969084622 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.96611996642 2.79657885939 106% => OK
Unique words: 249.0 215.323595506 116% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.488235294118 0.4932671777 99% => OK
syllable_count: 822.6 704.065955056 117% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 6.24550561798 192% => OK
Article: 4.0 4.99550561798 80% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.10617977528 64% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.77640449438 169% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.38483146067 114% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.2370786517 104% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 23.0359550562 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 60.5989754671 60.3974514979 100% => OK
Chars per sentence: 124.19047619 118.986275619 104% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.2857142857 23.4991977007 103% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.57142857143 5.21951772744 126% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 4.97078651685 121% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 7.80617977528 115% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 10.2758426966 136% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 5.13820224719 19% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.83258426966 124% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.299010734429 0.243740707755 123% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.101848076216 0.0831039109588 123% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0670486690207 0.0758088955206 88% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.171809402065 0.150359130593 114% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0653680841675 0.0667264976115 98% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.8 14.1392134831 105% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 47.12 48.8420337079 96% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.92365168539 141% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.1743820225 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.65 12.1639044944 104% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.67 8.38706741573 103% => OK
difficult_words: 124.0 100.480337079 123% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 16.0 11.8971910112 134% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.2143820225 103% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.7820224719 110% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.