The primary goal of technological advancement should be to increase people's efficiency so that they have more leisure time.Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for t

When our ancestors learned how to use fire to cook, our human beings got evovled, hencethenforth we needn't always to eat raw food and we embraced an new era of civilization. When people modified the stream machines, we enjoyed the high efficiency they brought to us, while the workers were busier as the industrialization freed the labor force which the workers were acquired more knowledge to handle these machines as well as the life struggles. However, I believe the technology shoud be based on the people's demand which could let us have more leisure time even if the situation nowadays may not be like this. I will address my views as bellow.

To begin with, as human beings, under the guidance of the science, we are the master of the technology. Stepping into the civilized society, people began the development of labor forces which proplled the historical evolution. As the Industrial Revolution metioned above, people need to be freed beside the mills or the larbor forced facilities in that the agricultural achievements in the Europe in the 19th Century provided sufficient food for people. Thus people wanted to be freed from the labor force. So the modification of the steam machines was on the stage of history. Then the workers were more efficient in the factories.

However, people may cast doubts on this point as the workers had less time of leisure due to the Industial Revolution. I contend that the target of the technologcial advancements were all making people's life easier and got more time of their own. Let's get back to the ancient time after our ancestors' dicovery of fire. Truly it was the food was more delicious and easier to be digested. While that is not the end of the story, instead, they began the primitive agricultral cultivation. By plating corps, they could farewell to the nomad life and settle down in the fotile places like the Nile river plain or North China plain where the Huanghe river running across. All of these places habored the magnificent human civilization. So maybe we got a little break after every technological advancement, while the development of human beings never stops.

In this word, we seem to have no time break due to the development of technolgy, while this is not where we began at first. Edison invetned the light bulbs so we could study in the night, tough as it was , while just by these inventions, we stepped into a bright future.

Votes
Average: 5.4 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 101, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: needn't
...n beings got evovled, hencethenforth we neednt always to eat raw food and we embraced...
^^^^^^
Line 1, column 130, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...enforth we neednt always to eat raw food and we embraced an new era of civilizati...
^^
Line 1, column 148, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'a' instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: a
...always to eat raw food and we embraced an new era of civilization. When people mo...
^^
Line 1, column 382, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...rce which the workers were acquired more knowledge to handle these machines as we...
^^
Line 1, column 458, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... as well as the life struggles. However, I believe the technology shoud be based ...
^^
Line 3, column 245, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... historical evolution. As the Industrial Revolution metioned above, people need t...
^^
Line 5, column 248, Rule ID: LETS_LET[1]
Message: Did you mean 'Let's'?
Suggestion: Let's
... easier and got more time of their own. Lets get back to the ancient time after our ...
^^^^
Line 7, column 204, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ould study in the night, tough as it was , while just by these inventions, we step...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, hence, however, if, may, so, then, thus, well, while, as well as, to begin with

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.5258426966 82% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 12.4196629213 56% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 14.8657303371 40% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.3162921348 88% => OK
Pronoun: 34.0 33.0505617978 103% => OK
Preposition: 54.0 58.6224719101 92% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 12.9106741573 116% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2001.0 2235.4752809 90% => OK
No of words: 413.0 442.535393258 93% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.84503631961 5.05705443957 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.50803742585 4.55969084622 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.69511643422 2.79657885939 96% => OK
Unique words: 224.0 215.323595506 104% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.542372881356 0.4932671777 110% => OK
syllable_count: 628.2 704.065955056 89% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 6.24550561798 160% => OK
Article: 0.0 4.99550561798 0% => OK
Subordination: 9.0 3.10617977528 290% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.77640449438 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.38483146067 91% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.2370786517 99% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 23.0359550562 87% => OK
Sentence length SD: 60.0884972353 60.3974514979 99% => OK
Chars per sentence: 100.05 118.986275619 84% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.65 23.4991977007 88% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.3 5.21951772744 82% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 7.80617977528 102% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 10.2758426966 88% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 5.13820224719 117% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.83258426966 103% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.183172014241 0.243740707755 75% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.05329170038 0.0831039109588 64% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0452331190774 0.0758088955206 60% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.110947898466 0.150359130593 74% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0455599386251 0.0667264976115 68% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.7 14.1392134831 83% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 48.8420337079 122% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.1743820225 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.85 12.1639044944 89% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.18 8.38706741573 98% => OK
difficult_words: 93.0 100.480337079 93% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 18.5 11.8971910112 155% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.2143820225 89% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.7820224719 85% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.


Rates: 54.17 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.25 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.