Some people believe that competition drives young athletes to perform at their best while others believe that competition discourages those who are not athletically talented from participating in organized sports Write a response in which you discuss whic

Essay topics:

Some people believe that competition drives young athletes to perform at their best, while others believe that competition discourages those who are not athletically talented from participating in organized sports.

Write a response in which you discuss which view more closely aligns with your own and explain your reasoning for your position. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address both views presented.

I personally believe that competition does infact, drive young athletes to perform at their best. The reasons behind this position of mine should be elucidated by the folowing points.

I believe that in any field and especially in athletics and sports, competition drives people to push their limits and to give their best. In organized sports, when there is competition between the young athletes to determine who is the best, it gives the athletes a sense of purpose for what they are doing. It gives them something to work for. Winning a competition will be the incentive that they need to give their best and to push themselves as much as they can. Competition gives them the motivation that they require to become the best versions of themselves.

When the young athletes compete against one another, it gives them an idea of where they stand amongst their peers and they get to know how good they are as compared to their peers and as compared to other similar people. The competition gives them a reality check that shows them how good they are. If there were no competitions among the athletes, each athlete would perform at their own pace and maybe even improve themselves a little. But without a competition, they won't be able to drive themselves to not only be a better than what they previously were but also to push themselves to be better than their peers. This in turn manages to push the athletes to their maximum potential because they have the incentive in front of them of winning the competition and a feeling a sense of accomplishment.

All that being said, I do have to agree that in some cases competition discourages people who are not athletically talented form participating in organized sports. If the person is not as athletically talented as their peers, then participating in organized sports may prove to be a imbroglio that they will want to avoid as no one wants to embarass themselves in front of others. For these people, competitions can prove to be intimidating as they have the fear of failure which may result in lower self confidence.

Therefore, I do agree that for people who are not as athletically talented as other might be discouraged from participating in organizeed sports but I think that if they know that they are not as athletically gifted as others, they should not feel discouraged or embarassed about participating in sports as there might be numerous other fields where they might be more talented than their peers. I believe that competition is something that tries to bring out the best in us as long as it is carried out in an ethical manner and hence, I agree that competition drives young athletes to perform at their best.

Votes
Average: 5.8 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 525, Rule ID: ALLOW_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'becoming'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'require' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
Suggestion: becoming
...s them the motivation that they require to become the best versions of themselves. Whe...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 54, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'cases'' or 'case's'?
Suggestion: cases'; case's
...g said, I do have to agree that in some cases competition discourages people who are ...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 282, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...ing in organized sports may prove to be a imbroglio that they will want to avoid ...
^
Line 9, column 505, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in an ethical manner" with adverb for "ethical"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...best in us as long as it is carried out in an ethical manner and hence, I agree that competition dri...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, hence, if, may, so, then, therefore, i think, in some cases

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 19.5258426966 123% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.4196629213 105% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 14.8657303371 87% => OK
Relative clauses : 22.0 11.3162921348 194% => OK
Pronoun: 71.0 33.0505617978 215% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 58.0 58.6224719101 99% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 12.9106741573 116% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2234.0 2235.4752809 100% => OK
No of words: 465.0 442.535393258 105% => OK
Chars per words: 4.80430107527 5.05705443957 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.64369019777 4.55969084622 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.76827241743 2.79657885939 99% => OK
Unique words: 194.0 215.323595506 90% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.417204301075 0.4932671777 85% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 696.6 704.065955056 99% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 6.24550561798 192% => OK
Article: 2.0 4.99550561798 40% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.10617977528 129% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.77640449438 56% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.38483146067 23% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.2370786517 84% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 27.0 23.0359550562 117% => OK
Sentence length SD: 78.3872473916 60.3974514979 130% => OK
Chars per sentence: 131.411764706 118.986275619 110% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.3529411765 23.4991977007 116% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.11764705882 5.21951772744 79% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 7.80617977528 51% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 10.2758426966 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 5.13820224719 97% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.83258426966 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.372643586123 0.243740707755 153% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.150594278245 0.0831039109588 181% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.119394790855 0.0758088955206 157% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.256594215 0.150359130593 171% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0671213599095 0.0667264976115 101% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.9 14.1392134831 105% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 52.53 48.8420337079 108% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.92365168539 141% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.6 12.1743820225 103% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.86 12.1639044944 89% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.32 8.38706741573 87% => OK
difficult_words: 69.0 100.480337079 69% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 11.8971910112 71% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 11.2143820225 114% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.7820224719 110% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------

Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.