Some people believe that competition drives young athletes to perform at their best, while others believe that competition discourages those who are not athletically talented from participating in organized sports.
Write a response in which you discuss which view more closely aligns with your own and explain your reasoning for your position. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address both views presented.
It has become commonplace for competition to be criticized with a view to developing a more equal society. One such sphere of society that is particularly vulnerable to this criticism is organized sports. Whilst many well-intentioned people argue that competition discourages less athletically talented people from participating in organized sports, I would disagree with such a statement. Furthermore, I believe that competition is an essential part of organized sports, which cannot be removed. As I will argue in this essay, those who argue that competition should be removed from organized sports are misguided and fail to differentiate between organized sports and recreational sporting activities (such as playing football in the park).
It is an essential component of sports that someone will lose and someone will win. If this is removed then sports are no longer sports but are instead simply recreational activities. This inevitably leads to the development of hierarchies. Such Hierarchies based on competency and ability emerge in every discipline, and sport is no exception. Both on an individual level, and a team level, it will quickly become apparent that there are more competent teams/ individuals and less competent teams/ individuals. Such hierarchies form part of the basic motivation for individuals to participate in sports, as less competent individuals will wish to rise up the hierarchy and those near the top will want to stay there. In attempting to remove competition from organized sports, advocates of this position attempt to remove these hierarchies. This is, in turn, an attempt to remove a basic motivation for less competent sports enthusiasts for participating in sports. Individuals who attempt to remove competition, further, fail to realize that the emergence of hierarchies based on ability is natural, and the disruption of such hierarchies will discourage both able athletes and less able athletes from participating in sports.
Furthermore, protagonists of the anti-competition position seem to be under the misguided idea that competition by nature is antagonistic and discourages less able individuals. This is a misconception. If competition exists within a spirit of cooperation and mutual respect, it is often more encouraging than discouraging. An example is the FIFA World Cup. There will be few commentators that would suggest this competition discourages smaller footballing nations from participating and trying their best. The recent display of Costa Rica is a case in point.
Despite this, there is a legitimate concern that if individuals feel that they cannot compete in sports then they will not exercise and their health will deteriorate. Whilst well-intentioned, such a concern fails to take note of the fact that outside of organized sports there are ample opportunities to exercise on a recreational basis. A wander around any city will show many groups of colleagues playing 5-a-side football after work, or heading to the gym, or going for a run.
Competition is an inherent part of organized sports and is a major motivating factor for all those who participate in it. There is little evidence to show that competition discourages people from participating in such sports. Furthermore, as I have shown, there is no causal link between competition and discouragement. Rather competition can be and should be used to encourage people to participate in sports. However, if there are individuals who feel discouraged from participating in organized sports, then society provides plenty of other outlets for them to exercise and participate in sporting activities on a recreational basis. It is not necessary that everyone should want to participate in everything.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 7, column 339, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...es to exercise on a recreational basis. A wander around any city will show many groups o...
^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 321, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Rather,
...between competition and discouragement. Rather competition can be and should be used t...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, furthermore, however, if, so, then, thus, well, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 32.0 19.5258426966 164% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 19.0 12.4196629213 153% => OK
Conjunction : 21.0 14.8657303371 141% => OK
Relative clauses : 19.0 11.3162921348 168% => OK
Pronoun: 42.0 33.0505617978 127% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 80.0 58.6224719101 136% => OK
Nominalization: 27.0 12.9106741573 209% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3160.0 2235.4752809 141% => OK
No of words: 577.0 442.535393258 130% => OK
Chars per words: 5.47660311958 5.05705443957 108% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.90110439584 4.55969084622 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.30818578454 2.79657885939 118% => OK
Unique words: 243.0 215.323595506 113% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.421143847487 0.4932671777 85% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 1002.6 704.065955056 142% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59117977528 107% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 6.24550561798 176% => OK
Article: 4.0 4.99550561798 80% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.10617977528 193% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.77640449438 281% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 3.0 4.38483146067 68% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 29.0 20.2370786517 143% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 23.0359550562 82% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 58.5421177287 60.3974514979 97% => OK
Chars per sentence: 108.965517241 118.986275619 92% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.8965517241 23.4991977007 85% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.06896551724 5.21951772744 40% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 7.80617977528 26% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 10.2758426966 107% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 11.0 5.13820224719 214% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.83258426966 145% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.257710981027 0.243740707755 106% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0758069855956 0.0831039109588 91% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0789004958997 0.0758088955206 104% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.163873374264 0.150359130593 109% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0989639380759 0.0667264976115 148% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.3 14.1392134831 101% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 43.73 48.8420337079 90% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.92365168539 141% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.1743820225 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.5 12.1639044944 119% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.81 8.38706741573 93% => OK
difficult_words: 118.0 100.480337079 117% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 11.8971910112 118% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.2143820225 86% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.7820224719 127% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.