Some people believe that competition for high grades motivates students to excel in the classroom. Others believe that such competition seriously limits the quality of real learning.
Write a response in which you discuss which view more closely aligns with your own position and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should address both of the views presented.
Everyone wants their children or loved ones to get the best education possible. Nowadays, there’s a lot of competition starting from rudimentary schooling such as pre-k. Many believe that these challenges bring the best out of students. However, while a reasonable person might think this is true, this might not always be correct for the following reasons.
To begin with, competition has always been viewed as positive thing. This brings out the best out of everyone pushing the status quo higher. For instance, this can be witnessed in the sports arena where records are being broken year after year; 50 years ago, many could not fathom a boxer conquering eight different weight divisions like Manny Pacquiao has done in the last decade. In the same manner, competition in grade schools have push students to achieve the unthinkable in previous generations. For example, many high school students are now graduation with a dual degree, a college associate degree and high school diploma. This was accomplished by creating competition among the most erudite of students. This also prepares them for the reality of didactic years in higher education like graduate or professional school. Ultimately, competition yields better students prepared to tackle world problems that help a nation maintain its status as a world leader.
On the other hand, competition can be deleterious if pushed to the extreme. For example, we have witnessed a major college scandal in the United States, where many high school students were cheating on their SATs in order to land a seat in a prestige university where competition is an at all time high. By this way students are more concerned with grades than they are with the quality of learning material. This hinders their ability to succeed during their university years. Standardize testing has also been a polemic issue, many students get a paroxysm of anxiety due to the immense weight of competition. Again, in this sense competition is a counterproductive mechanism.
All in all, there must be an equilibrium between detrimental competition and healthy competition. If competition is weighed in too heavily some students might cheat, causing long term damage to their learning. To assuage the situation competition among young students, must be re-evaluated. For these reasons, I align more closely to the view that competition seriously limits the quality of real learning.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 186, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'sports'' or 'sport's'?
Suggestion: sports'; sport's
... instance, this can be witnessed in the sports arena where records are being broken ye...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, however, if, so, while, for example, for instance, such as, to begin with, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.5258426966 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 12.4196629213 64% => OK
Conjunction : 4.0 14.8657303371 27% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 6.0 11.3162921348 53% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 24.0 33.0505617978 73% => OK
Preposition: 50.0 58.6224719101 85% => OK
Nominalization: 19.0 12.9106741573 147% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2038.0 2235.4752809 91% => OK
No of words: 387.0 442.535393258 87% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.2661498708 5.05705443957 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.43534841618 4.55969084622 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.83578516759 2.79657885939 101% => OK
Unique words: 227.0 215.323595506 105% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.586563307494 0.4932671777 119% => OK
syllable_count: 625.5 704.065955056 89% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 6.24550561798 128% => OK
Article: 1.0 4.99550561798 20% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.10617977528 64% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.77640449438 0% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.38483146067 137% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 20.2370786517 109% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 23.0359550562 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 45.6410718325 60.3974514979 76% => OK
Chars per sentence: 92.6363636364 118.986275619 78% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.5909090909 23.4991977007 75% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.45454545455 5.21951772744 85% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 7.80617977528 13% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 10.2758426966 107% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 5.13820224719 97% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.83258426966 124% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.252403001469 0.243740707755 104% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0774780132925 0.0831039109588 93% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.076504129021 0.0758088955206 101% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.15598263306 0.150359130593 104% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0587661309875 0.0667264976115 88% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.2 14.1392134831 86% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 54.22 48.8420337079 111% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.1743820225 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.99 12.1639044944 107% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.56 8.38706741573 102% => OK
difficult_words: 100.0 100.480337079 100% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 11.8971910112 59% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 8.8 11.2143820225 78% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.7820224719 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 62.5 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.75 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.