Some people believe that increasing violence in the media is the cause of increasing violence in our society especially among children Others believe that children s peer groups and parental role models are a much more powerful influence on children s beh | TOEFL IELTS GMAT GRE SAT ACT PTE ESL

Essay topics:

Some people believe that increasing violence in the media is the cause of increasing violence in our society, especially among children. Others believe that children's peer groups and parental role models are a much more powerful influence on children's behavior.

The author claims that increasing voilnce in the media can cause increase in violence in the society, especially among children. While on the other hand some believe that children's peers and parental role models have a greater influence on their behaiour. I believe that children's behaviour is greatly influenced from both their peers as well as what they watch.

Young children's mind adapts what they see. For instance, if a kid watches his/her parents drive for a several time, the next time he/she gets into the car, they try to hold the stearing wheel and imitates their parents. Similar theory is given by Piaget, known as the Piaget's theory, which says that children develop in the pysical environment.

Often we see young kids playing with a stick and suddenly they start hitting. We wonder where they might have seen this or who might have taught it to them.As a young mind,children are attracted by even the slighest possible thing.They have the ability to connect more to what they see. Hence, many times it is possible that they watch violent actions on any platform and repeat the same.

However, it is not completely true. Children's mind is also developed by the environment that he/she lives in. It is very important to provide a positive environment for a child's development. Another theory is suggested by Vygotsky, which suggests that children develop in the cultural environment. By cultural environment, it means the people around them, the languages and the traditions.For instance,a child learns to recite a hymn which is sung by his/her parents everyday or the words he/she uses in the same way their parents use.

Parents and parental figures also have a great influence on a child's behaviour. It is possible that constant arguments among the parents might create a negative impact on their minds and they tend to argue with their peers. Similarly, if given proper guidance and teaching, the violent acts on television might not affect a child's behaviour.

Increased violence in media can have a role in increasing violence i nthe society for not just kids, but many adults are also influenced by that. However, a child's behaviour is not completely dependent on what they observe but also by their peer group and parental models. Hence, both observation and cultural aspects play a major role in shaping a child's behaviour.

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GMAT/GRE Issue Task

Comments

Essay evaluations by e-grader

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 336, Rule ID: BOTH_AS_WELL_AS[1]
Message: Probable usage error. Use 'and' after 'both'.
Suggestion: and
...reatly influenced from both their peers as well as what they watch. Young childrens min...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 103, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun time seems to be countable; consider using: 'several times'.
Suggestion: several times
...kid watches his/her parents drive for a several time, the next time he/she gets into the car...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 157, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: As
...his or who might have taught it to them.As a young mind,children are attracted by ...
^^
Line 5, column 172, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , children
...t have taught it to them.As a young mind,children are attracted by even the slighest poss...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 232, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: They
...ted by even the slighest possible thing.They have the ability to connect more to wha...
^^^^
Line 7, column 333, Rule ID: NOUN_AROUND_IT[1]
Message: Consider using 'the surrounding people'?
Suggestion: the surrounding people
...ment. By cultural environment, it means the people around them, the languages and the traditions.For i...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 390, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: For
... them, the languages and the traditions.For instance,a child learns to recite a hym...
^^^
Line 7, column 402, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , a
...anguages and the traditions.For instance,a child learns to recite a hymn which is ...
^^
Line 7, column 468, Rule ID: EVERYDAY_EVERY_DAY[3]
Message: 'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean 'every day'?
Suggestion: every day
...a hymn which is sung by his/her parents everyday or the words he/she uses in the same wa...
^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 537, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...uses in the same way their parents use. Parents and parental figures also have a...
^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, hence, however, if, similarly, so, well, while, for instance, as well as, in the same way, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 19.5258426966 61% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 12.4196629213 48% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 14.8657303371 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 11.3162921348 124% => OK
Pronoun: 49.0 33.0505617978 148% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 39.0 58.6224719101 67% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 12.9106741573 116% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1971.0 2235.4752809 88% => OK
No of words: 391.0 442.535393258 88% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.04092071611 5.05705443957 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.44676510885 4.55969084622 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.60824929735 2.79657885939 93% => OK
Unique words: 203.0 215.323595506 94% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.519181585678 0.4932671777 105% => OK
syllable_count: 591.3 704.065955056 84% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 6.24550561798 128% => OK
Article: 6.0 4.99550561798 120% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.10617977528 129% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.77640449438 56% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.38483146067 23% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.2370786517 99% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 23.0359550562 82% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 48.8414782741 60.3974514979 81% => OK
Chars per sentence: 98.55 118.986275619 83% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.55 23.4991977007 83% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.95 5.21951772744 114% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 4.97078651685 121% => OK
Language errors: 10.0 7.80617977528 128% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 10.2758426966 68% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 5.13820224719 117% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.83258426966 145% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.289878860378 0.243740707755 119% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0912244226532 0.0831039109588 110% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.110370759167 0.0758088955206 146% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.165236977229 0.150359130593 110% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.168372981063 0.0667264976115 252% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.1 14.1392134831 86% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 48.8420337079 124% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.92365168539 39% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 12.1743820225 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.95 12.1639044944 98% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.05 8.38706741573 96% => OK
difficult_words: 86.0 100.480337079 86% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 11.8971910112 88% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.2143820225 86% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.7820224719 85% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 70.83 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.25 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Essay evaluations by e-grader

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, hence, however, if, similarly, so, well, while, for instance, as well as, in the same way, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments