Some people believe that increasing violence in the media is the cause of increasing violence in our society, especially among children. Others believe that children's peer groups and parental role models are a much more powerful influence on children's behavior.
Write a response in which you discuss which view more closely aligns with your own position and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should address both of the views presented above.
Children are very significant and essential assets for a nation since they will be the ones to run the future. Violent behavior among children could engender detrimental ramifications. Children are artless and gullible and thereby, can be easily influenced by negative behavior. Especially the visual manifestation through media such as movies, video games and extremely violent sports can generate extreme influence over a child's mind.
I couldn't agree more with the people who believe that the violence in our society is burgeoning, especially among kids. The youth of today is frequently found complaining and protesting against even the smallest and inconsequential issues. There are plethora of cases of riots and strikes in the current society. The primary reason behind such a situation is the extensive violence depicted by media. The news channels emphatically accentuate the violence of a certain issue and magnify the intensity of the crime. Not only such a representation induces the thought of violence in the child's mind but also makes it inured towards such brutal crime.
The evolution of TV shows and fighting sports have contributed extravagantly in depicting extreme violence; and the most concerning thing about it is that the people love it. The modern fighting sports such as the "Ultimate Fighting Championship", "WWE" and many more are extensively witnessed by the children, live in the stadium. Although the violent scenes of a movie and TV shows are censured, there is no guarantee that the child will not be able to watch them. In fact, the curiosity of watching the censured scene is what leads the child furthermore towards violence; and with the presence of Youtube this becomes a piece of cake.
However, many people do believe that the peer groups and the parents play a rather more significant role in defining a child's behavior. Although the view is not entirely refutable, children are more likely to be easily influenced by a negative behavior than by a positive one. Thus, in conclusion, both viewpoints hold an acceptable credence; but the former viewpoint is more prevalent and pervasive.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 3, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: couldn't
...reme influence over a childs mind. I couldnt agree more with the people who believe ...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, furthermore, however, if, so, thus, in conclusion, in fact, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.5258426966 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 12.4196629213 40% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 14.8657303371 114% => OK
Relative clauses : 5.0 11.3162921348 44% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 12.0 33.0505617978 36% => OK
Preposition: 38.0 58.6224719101 65% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 12.9106741573 101% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1815.0 2235.4752809 81% => OK
No of words: 342.0 442.535393258 77% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.30701754386 5.05705443957 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.30037696126 4.55969084622 94% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.01444404227 2.79657885939 108% => OK
Unique words: 194.0 215.323595506 90% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.567251461988 0.4932671777 115% => OK
syllable_count: 571.5 704.065955056 81% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59117977528 107% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 6.24550561798 16% => OK
Article: 6.0 4.99550561798 120% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.10617977528 64% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.77640449438 225% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 2.0 4.38483146067 46% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.2370786517 84% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 20.0 23.0359550562 87% => OK
Sentence length SD: 31.5729506235 60.3974514979 52% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 106.764705882 118.986275619 90% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.1176470588 23.4991977007 86% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.58823529412 5.21951772744 88% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 7.80617977528 13% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 10.2758426966 39% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 13.0 5.13820224719 253% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.83258426966 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.290794913168 0.243740707755 119% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0785454824031 0.0831039109588 95% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0711313572664 0.0758088955206 94% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.153885839461 0.150359130593 102% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.025425405488 0.0667264976115 38% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.6 14.1392134831 96% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 42.72 48.8420337079 87% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.1743820225 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.52 12.1639044944 111% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.38 8.38706741573 112% => OK
difficult_words: 103.0 100.480337079 103% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 11.8971910112 71% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.2143820225 89% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.7820224719 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.