Some people believe that increasing violence in the media is the cause of increasing violence in our society, especially among children. Others believe that children's peer groups and parental role models are a much more powerful influence on children's behavior.
The paragraph promulgates two different views on children's behaviour. Nowadays, children are exposed to media in a plethora of ways, be it television, newspapers, movies, video games. This exposure has led some people to believe that violence in the society is directly proportional to the violence in the media. Most of the times, this is not the case. Children learn to behave from their friends, parents, teachers.
Parents play a vital role in the psychological development of a child. According to doctor Freud, the child's psychological behaviour starts developing from a very young age as early as age 3. At that point in time, most of the children are not exposed to any kind of media. So, they tend to learn from what they see or perceive around them. Some studies even prove that the child learns from his mother even before he or she is born. A child's mentality heavily depends on the environment in which he or she grew up in. If the environment is not good for developing nice habits, children may become bad. For example, if the child's mother and father are involved in drug trafficking or if they fight more often, the child tends to think that this kind of thing is good or might have conflicted emotions.
Moreover, the child's peer groups also have a profound impact on the child's behaviour. For instance, if the child is living in a society where selling drugs, killing people is kind of normal and the child's peers are doing it, then the child is more inclined to do it because he does not know what else to do. On the other hand, if a child is in a group which is more kind-hearted and study oriented, he or she might even go to college in the future. Finally, it all boils down to what kind of personal exposure the child has in his or her primary or teen years.
However, people might argue that media violence is the primary cause. If the child is inherently good or has a good mentality developed from his childhood, he or she is less likely to be affected by this kind of media exposure. For example, a study shows that Playing violent video games does not make a person go out in the real world and shoot people, a belief which many people had previously. In conclusion, the child's behaviour is more dependent on parental role models and his peer groups, rather than media.
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, finally, however, if, may, moreover, so, then, for example, for instance, in conclusion, kind of, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.5258426966 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 12.4196629213 32% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 14.8657303371 101% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.3162921348 88% => OK
Pronoun: 33.0 33.0505617978 100% => OK
Preposition: 53.0 58.6224719101 90% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 12.9106741573 54% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1895.0 2235.4752809 85% => OK
No of words: 413.0 442.535393258 93% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.58837772397 5.05705443957 91% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.50803742585 4.55969084622 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.51763591123 2.79657885939 90% => OK
Unique words: 204.0 215.323595506 95% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.493946731235 0.4932671777 100% => OK
syllable_count: 581.4 704.065955056 83% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.59117977528 88% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 6.24550561798 96% => OK
Article: 8.0 4.99550561798 160% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.10617977528 161% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.77640449438 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.38483146067 91% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.2370786517 104% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 23.0359550562 82% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 45.8593432692 60.3974514979 76% => OK
Chars per sentence: 90.2380952381 118.986275619 76% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.6666666667 23.4991977007 84% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.7619047619 5.21951772744 110% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 7.80617977528 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 10.2758426966 58% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 5.13820224719 117% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.83258426966 186% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.168922504339 0.243740707755 69% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0600559165332 0.0831039109588 72% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0597645974813 0.0758088955206 79% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.124122243849 0.150359130593 83% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0756523818308 0.0667264976115 113% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.0 14.1392134831 71% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 69.11 48.8420337079 141% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.92365168539 39% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.3 12.1743820225 68% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.34 12.1639044944 77% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.37 8.38706741573 88% => OK
difficult_words: 73.0 100.480337079 73% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 11.8971910112 59% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.2143820225 86% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.7820224719 85% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.