Some people believe that the purpose of education is to free the mind and the spirit. Others believe that formal education tends to restrain our minds and spirits rather than set them free.
“Education replaces an empty mind with an open one”. Education is the first early investment for child development. Early education to higher education, craves the path of one’s life. It is well known how important a good education is, especially since we have many societies in the past that have let the masses go uneducated to compare to. . It not only teaches us about the course of the universe but introduces us to new possibilities. I strongly agree with the suggestion that formal education tends to restrain our minds and spirits rather than set them free for two reasons.
To begin, formal education is channeled. Education systems all over the world have made a curriculum of education which has limited content leading to limited destinations. Due to this restricted curriculum, education systems fail to deliver the promise of learning without bounds. . Most people are in school not because they want to but because they have been told that probably after getting through to the tertiary level they will get meaningful jobs to do then they have made it in life. The evaluation criteria of the education system are same for each individual. Many students feel unsatisfied and incomplete with the restricted knowledge education system has to offer. You find a child who is very good at playing football sitting in a classroom with probably others who have other dreams that need to be nurtured but are forced to go through the school system because that is the order of the day. Albert Einstein said, “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid”. A majority of students feel burdened and overwhelmed by the results and evaluation criteria. In this contemporary world, education has become a factor of measuring one’s success. A well educated individual is considered more valuable than an illiterate one. Real life experiences are less valued than the knowledge gained by books and confined learning. Formal education restricts our mind to only a room full of ideas and chances.
Secondly, Education doesn’t promise a happy and healthy lifestyle. Many people engage themselves in higher education with the goal of having a happy and satisfied life, merely end up feeling trapped in their own body. Many researchers have shown that jobs and workplace environment affect an individual’s mental and physical health. Most of the esteemed careers require higher education. Careers like Mathematicians, Physicists, Chemists, Actuary, Astronomer, Professor, etc. These professional careers may provide high income jobs but restrain an individual’s thinking process. Such confined thinking process filters out various possibilities in one’s life and builds a constricted course of life. For instance, an individual working as a Software Engineer in a big IT company for 9-10 hours a day, is limited to his workspace for large proportion of the day, this may limit his time to go out and enjoy the magnificent things that life has to offer. He’s unsatisfied with his life, spends the majority if his day staring at numbers and codes, feels depressed at the end of the day. On the other hand his less educated friend who chose to start a small business of his own rather than getting a college degree to get a job, gets plenty of time to indulge himself in the astonishing endeavors of life. What use is education if it takes away one’s peace of mind?
Sure, Education is important in one`s life. A gift of knowledge can bring us to the top of our dreams. It’s high time that we change the rigid idea of education and make it flexible enough to not feel like a burden.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 359, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...the masses go uneducated to compare to. . It not only teaches us about the course...
^
Line 2, column 282, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...the promise of learning without bounds. . Most people are in school not because t...
^
Line 4, column 792, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'companies'?
Suggestion: companies
...king as a Software Engineer in a big IT company for 9-10 hours a day, is limited to his...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, if, may, second, secondly, so, then, well, as to, for instance, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.5258426966 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 12.4196629213 48% => OK
Conjunction : 19.0 14.8657303371 128% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.3162921348 115% => OK
Pronoun: 48.0 33.0505617978 145% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 83.0 58.6224719101 142% => OK
Nominalization: 28.0 12.9106741573 217% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3123.0 2235.4752809 140% => OK
No of words: 617.0 442.535393258 139% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.06158833063 5.05705443957 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.98392262146 4.55969084622 109% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.92379973571 2.79657885939 105% => OK
Unique words: 321.0 215.323595506 149% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.520259319287 0.4932671777 105% => OK
syllable_count: 992.7 704.065955056 141% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 6.24550561798 112% => OK
Article: 5.0 4.99550561798 100% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 3.10617977528 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.77640449438 56% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.38483146067 68% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 34.0 20.2370786517 168% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 23.0359550562 78% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 52.690616224 60.3974514979 87% => OK
Chars per sentence: 91.8529411765 118.986275619 77% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.1470588235 23.4991977007 77% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.73529411765 5.21951772744 52% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 7.80617977528 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 18.0 10.2758426966 175% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 5.13820224719 136% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.83258426966 186% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.244351342883 0.243740707755 100% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0652332720712 0.0831039109588 78% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0896061559765 0.0758088955206 118% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.159055116112 0.150359130593 106% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0864477151769 0.0667264976115 130% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.5 14.1392134831 81% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 53.21 48.8420337079 109% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.1743820225 85% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.77 12.1639044944 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.14 8.38706741573 97% => OK
difficult_words: 141.0 100.480337079 140% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 11.8971910112 76% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.2143820225 82% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.7820224719 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.