Young people should be encouraged to pursue long-term, realistic goals rather than seek immediate fame and recognition.
The statemnt linking the young people and their career choices plays on the recent human experience of the previous centuries. There has been no time in history where the lived lives of pwople has changed more dramatically. The advancement of technology has made the world a very small place. With the advent of internet, the social media platform such as Twitter, Facebook, Reddit have become the most powerful handles to influence the population in the large scale.
Among the others, the choice of career is one of the most important choices one is required to make in life. The first paragraph clearly argue s that, with the arrival of internet, the today's world is rife with people on social media who pretend to lead a successful life. However, the social media doesn't reaveal the dark side of the person on the other side. It is very for the young people to get carrie away by the galmour served by the so called internet celebrities. It is crucial to make the young generation aware of this issue.
Building up on the second paragraph, consider the example of the American celebrity Kim Kardashian. She rose to fame by undergoing going several plastic surgery in order to make certain parts of her body look perfect. Young fans following her were lead to belive that Kim's body is the example of what the ideal body should look like and there is something utterly wrong with their current body. To keep up wiht this new trend, they will also consider undergoing the plastic surgery, which, according to them, will make them famous. This definitely needs to be stopped. The young people must not emulate such celebrities blindly insted they should cosider taking a long, systematic path with realistic goals.
There is no substitute for hardwork in this world. Consider the case of Albert Einstein and the theory of relativity. Einstein was working a second tier officer in small patent office after compeleting his graduation. He was motivated by the inconsistency of the Maxwell's equation and the Newtonian mechaincs. It took him around ten years to figure out the missing piece of the puzzle. He first came up with the special theory of relativity, five years later he came with a more fundamental theory known as general theory of relativity. Hence, it took him almost fifteen years to formulate a concrete theory that has till date and has made precise prediction about the motion of the planets. This was not at all a sudden rise to the fame. It took him more than a decade to achive the so-called over night success. This example gives us the most hope to encourage the young people to set realistic and long-term goals that requires years of hard work and patience.
Given the history of the human race, there will be no limit to the number of career choice available, both old and new. The young people should
surely be motivated to pursue long-term, realastic career rather than looking for an ephermal and overnight fame.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 300, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...cessful life. However, the social media doesnt reaveal the dark side of the person on ...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 965, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...quires years of hard work and patience. Given the history of the human race, the...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 144, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...oth old and new. The young people should surely be motivated to pursue long-term,...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, hence, however, if, look, second, so, well, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.5258426966 82% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 12.4196629213 56% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 14.8657303371 61% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 11.3162921348 53% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 32.0 33.0505617978 97% => OK
Preposition: 74.0 58.6224719101 126% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 12.9106741573 70% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2447.0 2235.4752809 109% => OK
No of words: 506.0 442.535393258 114% => OK
Chars per words: 4.83596837945 5.05705443957 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.7428307748 4.55969084622 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.4514414252 2.79657885939 88% => OK
Unique words: 272.0 215.323595506 126% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.537549407115 0.4932671777 109% => OK
syllable_count: 765.9 704.065955056 109% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 6.24550561798 192% => OK
Article: 9.0 4.99550561798 180% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 3.10617977528 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.77640449438 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.38483146067 114% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 27.0 20.2370786517 133% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 23.0359550562 78% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 39.3496513546 60.3974514979 65% => OK
Chars per sentence: 90.6296296296 118.986275619 76% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.7407407407 23.4991977007 80% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.37037037037 5.21951772744 45% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 6.0 4.97078651685 121% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 7.80617977528 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 10.2758426966 127% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 5.13820224719 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.83258426966 207% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.215076512814 0.243740707755 88% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0493906370422 0.0831039109588 59% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0905295467108 0.0758088955206 119% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.120619222834 0.150359130593 80% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0795526090219 0.0667264976115 119% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.7 14.1392134831 76% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 61.67 48.8420337079 126% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.92365168539 39% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 12.1743820225 75% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.79 12.1639044944 89% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.15 8.38706741573 97% => OK
difficult_words: 116.0 100.480337079 115% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 11.8971910112 92% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.2143820225 82% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.7820224719 93% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.