You live in a room in college which you share with another student. You find it very difficult to work there because he or she always has friends visiting. They have parties in the room and sometimes borrow your things without asking you.-write a letter t

Essay topics:

You live in a room in college which you share with another student. You find it very difficult to work there because he or she always has friends visiting. They have parties in the room and sometimes borrow your things without asking you.

-write a letter to the accommodation officer at the college and ask

-for a new room next term

-you would prefer a single room

-explain your reasons.

Hello Sir or Madam,

I am writing to you with regard to my problem with accommodation that share with the other first year student.

My name is Tomasz I am second year student of the University of Sydney. I have been living at your campus since my beginning of my studies. I share room with the first-year student of this University, since he has moved in, I am feeling hard to study and living in the room.

First of all, this term is extremely hard for me because of the enormous assignments and project which I have to finish until the end of the school year. He is constantly inviting his friends to our room which create a lot of noise and mess in here. Besides, they are using my belongings without my permission, last time they took my study book and I could not finish my school task for one subject.

I have already tried to with my roommate, but that did not give any result.

I would appreciate if you could move me to another room, the best would be single room, because of my extremely hard time at University.

I will be grateful if you could consider my request.

Tomasz Zawadzki

Votes
Average: 6.4 (1 vote)

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 23, column 1, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...extremely hard time at University. I will be grateful if you could consider ...
^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
besides, but, first, if, second, first of all, with regard to

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 7.0 7.48453608247 94% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 4.92783505155 122% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 5.05154639175 119% => OK
Relative clauses : 4.0 3.03092783505 132% => OK
Pronoun: 37.0 32.9175257732 112% => OK
Preposition: 30.0 26.3917525773 114% => OK
Nominalization: 1.0 3.85567010309 26% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 926.0 937.175257732 99% => OK
No of words: 204.0 206.0 99% => OK
Chars per words: 4.53921568627 4.54256449028 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.77926670891 3.78020617076 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.44280991103 2.54303337028 96% => OK
Unique words: 117.0 127.690721649 92% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.573529411765 0.622605031667 92% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 279.9 290.88556701 96% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.41237113402 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.13402061856 120% => OK
Article: 1.0 0.824742268041 121% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 1.83505154639 109% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 0.463917525773 216% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 2.0 1.44329896907 139% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 10.0 12.6804123711 79% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 20.0 16.3608247423 122% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 43.6583278055 44.8134815571 97% => OK
Chars per sentence: 92.6 76.5299724578 121% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.4 16.8248392259 121% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.1 4.34317383033 140% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 4.29896907216 140% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 1.0 2.54639175258 39% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 7.41237113402 54% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 1.49484536082 134% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 3.94845360825 127% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.244045274132 0.216113520407 113% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0923334372557 0.0766984524023 120% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0653403294632 0.0603063233224 108% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.135340405052 0.12726935374 106% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0541602444741 0.0580467560999 93% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.2 8.37731958763 122% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 68.1 70.7449484536 96% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 3.82989690722 81% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 7.45979381443 117% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.05 8.71597938144 104% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.26 7.59969072165 96% => OK
difficult_words: 34.0 41.2886597938 82% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 8.62886597938 127% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 8.54432989691 117% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 8.15463917526 123% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Maximum five paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 64.606741573 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.75 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.