In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility? What are you opinion on this?

Essay topics:

In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility? What are you opinion on this?

From the beginning of time, children had to deal with a diversity of tasks in the family or in helping one parent's job all day. I partially agree with children's employment because I consider that children should spend their valuable time on their personal and professional development.

On one hand, starting work has some benefits for children. Many children who worked are mature and reliable persons because they develop thought work their responsibility for their actions. Having contact with customer and employer requirements, children develop communication skills necessary for a job that prove they have some experience. For instance, working as a cleaner and tidying the horrible mess of the street, some children will have developed the ability to use mops and vacuum cleaners. They learn to keep their house clean compared to other children. Furthermore, by doing low-paid jobs and common work that does not need many qualification, children learn that in the future they move to learn hard to get well-paid and to get a status in society.

On the other hand, there is a tendency in wasting their valuable childhood time on working that does not involve academic studies. Some adults regret not learning difficult subjects during childhood because they have not developed intellectual learning skills. For example, work involves mathematics and economy abilities but most of the children do not have this knowledge.

To sum up, parents should orientate their children to a well-paid career using different methods to motivate them learn hard for a better job.

Votes
Average: 6 (1 vote)

Comments

because they develop thought work their responsibility
Description: can you re-write this sentence?

children develop communication skills necessary for a job that prove they have some experience.
children develop communication skills necessary for a job that proves they have some experiences.

does not need many qualification
does not need many qualifications

flaws:
No. of Words: 251 350
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2

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http://www.testbig.com/ielts-essays/some-people-prefer-spend-their-live…

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.5 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 251 350
No. of Characters: 1297 1500
No. of Different Words: 149 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.98 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.167 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.674 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 100 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 82 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 59 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 27 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.917 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.512 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.417 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.372 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.586 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.096 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5

try to put five paragraphs:

paragraph 1: introduction -- explain in your own words about the issue and give a thesis statement at the end. Give a reasonable not a dogmatic statement.

paragraph 2: reason 1 + why reason 1 + example + a small conclusion for this paragraph (like advantages of reason 1 or comparisons if not reason 1, 1-2 sentence).

paragraph 3: reason 2 + why reason 2 + example + a small conclusion for this paragraph (like advantages of reason 2 or comparisons if not reason 2, 1-2 sentence).

paragraph 4: qualification -- moderate your position. This may involve a sentence beginning with "but" or "however"...

paragraph 5: conclusion -- reinforce the thesis.

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