Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Around the globe, people enjoy sports, which leads to the success of this profession. As a consequence, professional sport athelets receive huge salaries-well above, for example, those of doctors, lawyers, teachers and social workers. This matter has attracted for-and-against views in scociety.
It is undeniable that several athelets have to devote their's childhood to practice sports everday. Athelets train rigoliously from an early age to become peak performers in their field. For example, to become a professional ballet dancer, they may take many years. Besides, the approriate time ti start learning ballet is around 8 to 10 years old whearest it only last for a short time. Moreover, they can face tremendous pressure in each and every game, match or competiton. In several cases, they can loose all their career if they suffer serious injuries that prevent them following sports.
To some extent, when it comes to famous and success, their personal lives are compromised and they lose all privacy which are related to not only themselves but their team also. For instance, if one athelets cause negative effects to his team, he may be fired. Once be fired, his career is possibly ended.
On the other hand, there are various professions contributing their effort to society. Doctors have to undergo a long time to cure the patients, while lawyers put in at least ten years of researching and stdying to understand rules and regislation: their works save justice. Teachers educate and inspire young generation to be respionsible and useful citizens, their effort produce the citizens of tomorrow. Social workers rescue individuals facing physical, mental and psychological challenges: their intervention creates safer society. All of these majors usually struggle to become professional.
In conclusion, I believe that every majors is deserved to a salary consistent with their contribtion; however; it may be because of characteristics of sport industry so athelets can have special treatment.
(314 words)
Sentence: Around the globe, people enjoy sports, which leading to success of this profession.
Description: A WH-determiner is not usually followed by a verb, present participle or gerund
Suggestion: Refer to which and leading
Sentence: It is undeniable that several athelets have to devote their's childhood to practice sports everday.
Description: A pronoun, possessive is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to their's and childhood
they can loose all their career
they can lose all their career
when it comes to famous and success,
when it comes to fame and success,
whearest it only last for a short time
whereas it only lasts for a short time
Sentence: As a consequence, professional sport athelets receive huge salaries-well above, for example, those of doctors, lawyers, teachers and social workers.
Error: athelets Suggestion: athletes
Error: salaries-well Suggestion: salaries well
Sentence: This matter has attracted for-and-against views in scociety.
Error: for-and-against Suggestion: ???
Error: scociety Suggestion: society
Sentence: It is undeniable that several athelets have to devote their's childhood to practice sports everday.
Error: athelets Suggestion: athletes
Error: everday Suggestion: everyday
Sentence: Athelets train rigoliously from an early age to become peak performers in their field.
Error: rigoliously Suggestion: rigorously
Sentence: Besides, the approriate time ti start learning ballet is around 8 to 10 years old whearest it only last for a short time.
Error: approriate Suggestion: appropriate
Error: ti Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: whearest Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Moreover, they can face tremendous pressure in each and every game, match or competiton.
Error: competiton Suggestion: competition
Sentence: For instance, if one athelets cause negative effects to his team, he may be fired.
Error: athelets Suggestion: athletes
Sentence: Doctors have to undergo a long time to cure the patients, while lawyers put in at least ten years of researching and stdying to understand rules and regislation: their works save justice.
Error: stdying Suggestion: staying
Error: regislation Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Teachers educate and inspire young generation to be respionsible and useful citizens, their effort produce the citizens of tomorrow.
Error: respionsible Suggestion: responsible
Sentence: In conclusion, I believe that every majors is deserved to a salary consistent with their contribtion; however; it may be because of characteristics of sport industry so athelets can have special treatment.
Error: athelets Suggestion: athletes
Error: contribtion Suggestion: contribution
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 15 2
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 15 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 315 350
No. of Characters: 1650 1500
No. of Different Words: 209 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.213 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.238 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.795 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 127 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 97 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 60 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 34 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.579 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.028 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.526 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.256 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.501 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.062 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5