Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?
Throughout history, human beings have perpetually been concerned about how to motivate children to study hard and prosper fast. Such a constant effort has become even more noticeable in the modern era where new technologies such as video player and computers have an inevitable impact on reducing the children`s concentration. In this regard, there has been a longstanding controversy among academicians as to whether parents should offer their school-age children money for each high grade. I personally agree with the above mentioned statement and believe that this can motivate children to study hard and improve their performance.
The most prominent reason to be mentioned here is that by offering money, people could encourage their children to study hard and become outstanding students. If different family give some money to their child after they get high grades, undeniably students study hard to earn more money and buy everything they like. For instance, If the children parents do not like to buy something as like as smart phone for their children, he can save the money he get from his parents and buy it for himself.
The other important reason crossing my mind now is that students can learn if they do something right, their parents advocate them and they will experience better life. Undoubtedly, it has a great impact on children`s behavior and assists them to think about their mistake in the school and society. To illustrate I would like to mention some available statistic about this point. The result of the survey conducted recently in my country clearly depicts that more than 68 percent of students who their family praise them after they get high marks try harder to solve their social problems and they are more responsible than other students.
The last but not the least reason by which claim is justified is that if parents give money to their children after the get the good mark, children always speak about their progress with their parents. As a result, parents are able to now about their children’s problem and they can solve it before it ruined their life. A prime example of such a practical advantages is that parents could higher better teachers to educate their children or even they can change their children`s schools if it could help them to prosper faster. Take a personal experience as an example. When I was a child I have a lots of problems with my classmates and my school`s teachers were ignored my homework and my study. After, my father know about these problems, he changed my school and eventually I become one of the best high school students of my country.
From what has been discussed above, we may safely reach the conclusion that parents should pay some money to their children after the get high marks because it can motivate them to study harder and improve their social responsibility. Moreover, I stated that this process could help parents to speak with their children and solve the problems which they have in the schools. All in all, it is anticipated that in future people will pay more heed to financially support their children when they do something good in their schools.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 410, Rule ID: WHETHER[6]
Message: Can you shorten this phrase to just 'whether', or rephrase the sentence to avoid "as to"?
Suggestion: whether
...standing controversy among academicians as to whether parents should offer their school-age c...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 453, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'gets'.
Suggestion: gets
...heir children, he can save the money he get from his parents and buy it for himself...
^^^
Line 4, column 607, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[1]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'a lot' or simply 'lots'?
Suggestion: a lot; lots
...s an example. When I was a child I have a lots of problems with my classmates and my s...
^^^^^^
Discourse Markers used:
['but', 'if', 'may', 'moreover', 'so', 'as to', 'for instance', 'such as', 'as a result']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.21843003413 0.247107183377 88% => OK
Verbs: 0.162116040956 0.155533422707 104% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0836177474403 0.0946595960268 88% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0409556313993 0.0501214627716 82% => OK
Pronouns: 0.109215017065 0.0437548338989 250% => Less pronouns wanted. Try not to use 'you, I, they, he...' as the subject of a sentence
Prepositions: 0.116040955631 0.122226691241 95% => OK
Participles: 0.0221843003413 0.0403226058552 55% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.67247099378 2.80594681477 95% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0358361774744 0.0326793684256 110% => OK
Particles: 0.0 0.00163938923432 0% => OK
Determiners: 0.0699658703072 0.0861772015684 81% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0273037542662 0.021408717616 128% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.0136518771331 0.011925033212 114% => OK
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 3174.0 1933.35771543 164% => OK
No of words: 531.0 316.048096192 168% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.97740112994 6.12580529183 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.80035803286 4.20517956788 114% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.335216572505 0.374742101984 89% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.248587570621 0.28420135186 87% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.182674199623 0.203846283523 90% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.105461393597 0.137316102897 77% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.67247099378 2.80594681477 95% => OK
Unique words: 241.0 176.037074148 137% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.453860640301 0.56093040696 81% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
Word variations: 52.9163764643 60.7387585426 87% => OK
How many sentences: 20.0 16.0891783567 124% => OK
Sentence length: 26.55 20.7743622355 128% => OK
Sentence length SD: 48.7077765865 49.517814964 98% => OK
Chars per sentence: 158.7 127.492653851 124% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.55 20.7743622355 128% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.45 0.814263465372 55% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.38877755511 114% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 3.99599198397 75% => OK
Readability: 51.4087570621 49.1944974215 105% => OK
Elegance: 1.14207650273 1.69124875643 68% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.309493354041 0.332605444948 93% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.133811493839 0.102741220458 130% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.100052186904 0.0668466124924 150% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.520296006346 0.534860350844 97% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.1355796935 0.148594505496 91% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.118977437496 0.134430193775 89% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0831519100536 0.0742795772207 112% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.409264145753 0.324371583561 126% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0572436464004 0.0638462369009 90% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.208890153028 0.228012699653 92% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0141872244661 0.058150111329 24% => The ideas may be duplicated in paragraphs.
Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 8.68436873747 173% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.9879759519 50% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 3.41683366733 88% => OK
Positive topic words: 15.0 5.90881763527 254% => OK
Negative topic words: 1.0 2.5751503006 39% => OK
Neutral topic words: 2.0 1.9629258517 102% => OK
Total topic words: 18.0 10.4468937876 172% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
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Rates: 73.0337078652 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.5 Out of 9
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.