Some people feel that entertainers such as film stars, pop musicians or sports stars are paid too much money.
Do you agree or disagree?
Which other types of job should be highly paid? (The answer is a sample not written by myself. The goal is to compare the score given by e-grader to the real occurred result.)
It is often said that people who work in the entertainment industry such as movie stars, musicians, and sports stars are being overpaid. This essay discusses why I think they are paid too much money and then I will describe other occupations that I think should receive higher salaries.
There are two reasons why I feel the salaries are too high. The main reason is because the entertainers’ income does not reflect the amount of work they do. For instance, a top star movie like Angelina Jolie can easily make one million dollars by acting in a single film. This amount may never be reached by many people during their life no matter how hard working they are. In addition, if we base a person’s income according to their relative contribution to society the incomes of entertainers seem too high. This is because entertainment is not as important to our society as much as other fields such as science and technology.
There are other professions that are worthy to be paid more for their work. More specifically, people who make a big contribution to society should be rewarded more. For instance, since doctors can save lives and give people hope, they should receive a high amount to reflect the meaningful contributions they make. Another type of occupation deserving to receive a good salary is those who bear large responsibilities. For example, teachers who contribute to the education of the next generation seem to be underpaid.
In summary, entertainers do not offer anything greater than other people who are working in other industries. As a result, I agree that society is overpaying the people in the entertainment industry. Finally, it is recommended that people who work hard should be rewarded appropriately and the gap in benefits between different types of jobs should not be too significant.
Comments
As mentioned in the topic,
As mentioned in the topic, the answer is given by an IELTS examiner. Since most of us write better than the examiners, why is it that we get lower scores?
And why do the examiners get a low score themselves and expect test givers to score higher?
Please share your thoughts below.
It doesn't mean Examiners are
It doesn't mean Examiners are good writers. and don't look at scores only, pay more attention to those flaws, like:
Sentence length SD: 29.1051434458 49.4020404114 59% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Unique words: 166.0 176.041082164 94% => More unique words wanted.
difficult_words: 59.0 78.4519038076 75% => More difficult words wanted.
...
try to write essays next time without those messages. then you are going to improve and get better marks.
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, finally, if, may, so, then, for example, for instance, i feel, i think, in addition, in summary, such as, as a result
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 13.1623246493 167% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 7.85571142285 115% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 10.4138276553 48% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 11.0 7.30460921844 151% => OK
Pronoun: 26.0 24.0651302605 108% => OK
Preposition: 27.0 41.998997996 64% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 8.3376753507 144% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1529.0 1615.20841683 95% => OK
No of words: 305.0 315.596192385 97% => OK
Chars per words: 5.0131147541 5.12529762239 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.17902490978 4.20363070211 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.96967744781 2.80592935109 106% => OK
Unique words: 166.0 176.041082164 94% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.544262295082 0.561755894193 97% => OK
syllable_count: 485.1 506.74238477 96% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.60771543086 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 5.43587174349 129% => OK
Article: 2.0 2.52805611222 79% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.10420841683 143% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 0.809619238477 124% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.76152304609 63% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 16.0721442886 100% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.2975951904 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 29.1051434458 49.4020404114 59% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 95.5625 106.682146367 90% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.0625 20.7667163134 92% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.625 7.06120827912 108% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.01903807615 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.67935871743 115% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.9879759519 50% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 3.4128256513 117% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.277799020405 0.244688304435 114% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.092627929531 0.084324248473 110% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.049392107366 0.0667982634062 74% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.183347743697 0.151304729494 121% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0539997360393 0.056905535591 95% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.7 13.0946893788 89% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 52.19 50.2224549098 104% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 11.3001002004 95% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.78 12.4159519038 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.63 8.58950901804 89% => OK
difficult_words: 59.0 78.4519038076 75% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 9.78957915832 112% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.1190380762 95% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.7795591182 111% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 73.0337078652 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.