Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults.
Discuss both these views and give your opinion
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Write at least 250 words.
Nowadays, purpose of education being changed in Korea. There are some people ho think that competition in children should be made, also others believe that children who are taught to cooperate as well as become more useful adults. There are advantages and disadvantages for both of the arguments.
To begin with, what is good if a sense of competition in children is made? They could develop themselves more and more as they learn and study a lot to win from the competition. To prove this in Korea it is popular even common now to have a tutor who came to student's house to teach extra pieces of study with paying a lot of money. They learn faster than what they learn at school.
Furthermore, during the vacations, students study abroad to learn English for a month instead of revise school work. If they have experiment such as study abroad, it is one of the greatest plus point to go to the famous well-known high-school. Moreover, there are four big school exam and two national examI nations to test student level of studies. Generally, children learn as much as they can, to win the competition to obtain good quality schools.
On the other hand, as they are busy to enter the schools and study individually with their own tutor, there are problems. They become selfish. They become careless and don't help others a lot if it is about studies. There will be no cooperation for them. Then, why are there companies for many people to work in? Each of them are clever, however there are weak parts and strong parts for each person. To cooperate is to improve this part. People talk and listen to what others thinking of and learn. That could also be a great oppurtunity to learn instead of learning alone with one teacher.
In conclusion, I strongly agree that children should be taught to cooperate rather than compete. Nobody is perfect people learn together, work together to develop eachother. Therefore, I want parents and teacher to educate children concentrating on cooperation, not compete and ranking them.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 120, Rule ID: COMP_THAN[1]
Message: Comparison requires 'than', not 'then' nor 'as'.
Suggestion: than
... could develop themselves more and more as they learn and study a lot to win from ...
^^
Line 5, column 281, Rule ID: THERE_RE_MANY[3]
Message: Possible agreement error. Did you mean 'exams'?
Suggestion: exams
...ol. Moreover, there are four big school exam and two national examI nations to test ...
^^^^
Line 5, column 281, Rule ID: CD_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun 'exam' seems to be countable, so consider using: 'exams'.
Suggestion: exams
...ol. Moreover, there are four big school exam and two national examI nations to test ...
^^^^
Line 7, column 169, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...ecome selfish. They become careless and dont help others a lot if it is about studie...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, furthermore, however, if, moreover, so, then, therefore, well, in conclusion, such as, as well as, to begin with, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 13.1623246493 160% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 7.85571142285 76% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 10.4138276553 106% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 7.30460921844 82% => OK
Pronoun: 25.0 24.0651302605 104% => OK
Preposition: 51.0 41.998997996 121% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.3376753507 96% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1682.0 1615.20841683 104% => OK
No of words: 349.0 315.596192385 111% => OK
Chars per words: 4.81948424069 5.12529762239 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.32221490584 4.20363070211 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.55434764969 2.80592935109 91% => OK
Unique words: 187.0 176.041082164 106% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.535816618911 0.561755894193 95% => OK
syllable_count: 516.6 506.74238477 102% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.60771543086 93% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 5.43587174349 147% => OK
Article: 0.0 2.52805611222 0% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.10420841683 95% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.76152304609 147% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 16.0721442886 143% => OK
Sentence length: 15.0 20.2975951904 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 37.3418277311 49.4020404114 76% => OK
Chars per sentence: 73.1304347826 106.682146367 69% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.1739130435 20.7667163134 73% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.95652173913 7.06120827912 84% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.38176352705 114% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.01903807615 80% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 8.67935871743 150% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.9879759519 100% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 3.4128256513 176% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.249554137328 0.244688304435 102% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0762049537318 0.084324248473 90% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0996062009821 0.0667982634062 149% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.172156103954 0.151304729494 114% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.133322313176 0.056905535591 234% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 8.9 13.0946893788 68% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 64.71 50.2224549098 129% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.44779559118 42% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.0 11.3001002004 71% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.08 12.4159519038 81% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.55 8.58950901804 88% => OK
difficult_words: 70.0 78.4519038076 89% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 9.78957915832 87% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.0 10.1190380762 79% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.7795591182 74% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 61.797752809 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.