Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Famous entertainers and athletes deserve to have more privacy than they have now.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
In today's modern world, there are many famous personalities around the world, and people pay attention to them. Sometimes these attentions cause problems in celebrities' lives. As far as I am concerned, I believe they should have better privacy in their life, much more than they have now. The reasons why I believe so will be elaborated upon hereunder.
First, too much attention will decrease the famous people's tranquility. When they go out for ordinary tasks like eating in restaurants or shopping, people gather around them and ask for pictures and autographs. These kinds of actions will distract them from the job they came for, and they will be nervous about it. Usually, because of these kinds of behaviors, celebrities try to avoid being in public. My own experience demonstrates this reality. A few years ago, there was a famous soccer player in my hometown. Every time he went out for his daily jobs, there was a crowd around him, asking for pictures. Sometimes he was exhausted, but people did not care. They just wanted their photos and signatures. This happened so much that the guy hired someone to do his tasks in the city, and he never showed up in town anymore.
Second, sometimes these attentions from people cause stress so much that celebrities act or react in the wrong way. Moreover, they will be obliged to dress properly every time they go out because they know people will notice them all the time. They always have the stress to look inappropriate in public view. Also, people often ask some very personal questions that they do not want to answer, or they answer with a bad language. For instance, about five years ago, a video came out about a famous movie star. One person asked him about his divorce and said some disturbing words about the movie star's ex-wife. The celebrity got so angry that he was going to hit the person who asked that question, and someone filmed the whole story. The video was so embarrassing that he had to apologize a thousand times. He never showed up in public for a long time
In conclusion, with all this taken into account, I strongly believe that famous people should enjoy more privacy in their personal lives than what they have today. If so, they will have serenity in their life, and they do not get stressed every time they go out in public.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 52, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'peoples'' or 'people's'?
Suggestion: peoples'; people's
...much attention will decrease the famous peoples tranquility. When they go out for ordin...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, look, moreover, second, so, for instance, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 15.1003584229 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 9.8082437276 92% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 13.8261648746 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.0286738351 82% => OK
Pronoun: 56.0 43.0788530466 130% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 48.0 52.1666666667 92% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1907.0 1977.66487455 96% => OK
No of words: 405.0 407.700716846 99% => OK
Chars per words: 4.70864197531 4.8611393121 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.48604634366 4.48103885553 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.39032750889 2.67179642975 89% => OK
Unique words: 210.0 212.727598566 99% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.518518518519 0.524837075471 99% => OK
syllable_count: 597.6 618.680645161 97% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 9.59856630824 104% => OK
Article: 5.0 3.08781362007 162% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 7.0 1.86738351254 375% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 20.6003584229 117% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 20.1344086022 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 36.0604960448 48.9658058833 74% => OK
Chars per sentence: 79.4583333333 100.406767564 79% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.875 20.6045352989 82% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.20833333333 5.45110844103 59% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 11.8709677419 42% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 11.0 3.85842293907 285% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.88709677419 164% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.166519247384 0.236089414692 71% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0499082453865 0.076458572812 65% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0688309611725 0.0737576698707 93% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.1420947983 0.150856017488 94% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0718706403076 0.0645574589148 111% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.2 11.7677419355 78% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 63.7 58.1214874552 110% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.4 10.1575268817 83% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.74 10.9000537634 89% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.43 8.01818996416 93% => OK
difficult_words: 77.0 86.8835125448 89% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 10.002688172 70% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 10.0537634409 84% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.