Do you agree or disagree with the following statement Famous entertainers and athletes deserve to have more privacy than they have now Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer | TOEFL IELTS GMAT GRE SAT ACT PTE ESL

Essay topics:

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Famous entertainers and athletes deserve to have more privacy than they have now. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Our modern life is much more complicated than three decades agp, and social media and techonological advancment in modern era makes privacy hard to a lot of famous people. While some people believe that popular athletes and entertainers deserve more privacy, others agree with the obverse idea. Nevertheless, from my point of view, I think famous people don't deserve to have more privacy. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.
To begin with, people like to know about their idols more because they are interested to learn about personal life of famous people. In fact, young people spend a lot of their time on the internet searching abuot singers and actors' life to find information about them. Obviously, these attempts by members of a society led a person to become more well-known. If you are a actor and nobody wants to know who are you, this will not help you to get plenty of offers from film production companies. Indeed, if a lot of people are want to know about private life of a person, this is a sign of being popular among people.
Furthermore, famous people would like to show their life to others because they want to exhibit their success to other colleges as well as ordinary people. There is no doubt that privacy is an important factor for having a relaxed and comfortable life, but a lot of famous people have different prespective. Thus, always we hear that a soccer player will buy a car for seven million ponds. For example, my brother is a director, and he loves to be on the news and people speak about him. Actually, he thinks that it is grat for his career that people know about his life. Therefore, although some athletes or entertainers say that they need more privacy, they always would like to be under eyes of others.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that popular people do not need more privacy. This is because a lot of young people in the community are interested in their life and this help celebrities to get more success. Also, celebrities have hunger for showing themselves.

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Independent TOEFL Writing

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Essay evaluations by e-grader

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 355, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...my point of view, I think famous people dont deserve to have more privacy. I feel th...
^^^^
Line 2, column 370, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...n to become more well-known. If you are a actor and nobody wants to know who are ...
^
Line 3, column 660, Rule ID: ADVERB_WORD_ORDER[10]
Message: The adverb 'always' is usually put between 'would' and 'like'.
Suggestion: would always like
...s say that they need more privacy, they always would like to be under eyes of others. In conclu...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 266, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ies have hunger for showing themselves.
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, furthermore, if, nevertheless, so, therefore, thus, well, while, for example, i feel, i think, in conclusion, in fact, no doubt, as well as, to begin with

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 15.1003584229 99% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 9.8082437276 71% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 13.8261648746 80% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.0286738351 82% => OK
Pronoun: 41.0 43.0788530466 95% => OK
Preposition: 53.0 52.1666666667 102% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 8.0752688172 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1699.0 1977.66487455 86% => OK
No of words: 362.0 407.700716846 89% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.69337016575 4.8611393121 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.36191444098 4.48103885553 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.51469992217 2.67179642975 94% => OK
Unique words: 190.0 212.727598566 89% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.524861878453 0.524837075471 100% => OK
syllable_count: 542.7 618.680645161 88% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.59856630824 115% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 20.6003584229 87% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 31.5722275989 48.9658058833 64% => OK
Chars per sentence: 94.3888888889 100.406767564 94% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.1111111111 20.6045352989 98% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.72222222222 5.45110844103 178% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 11.8709677419 76% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.18447754298 0.236089414692 78% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0632679180474 0.076458572812 83% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0578603242199 0.0737576698707 78% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.125359858779 0.150856017488 83% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0597322905668 0.0645574589148 93% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.7 11.7677419355 91% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 58.1214874552 103% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.1575268817 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.92 10.9000537634 91% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.73 8.01818996416 96% => OK
difficult_words: 71.0 86.8835125448 82% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.