Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Famous entertainers and athletes deserve to have more privacy than they have now. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Famous people in each society play a significant role in shaping the proper social behavior among citizens. As they are so popular among people, citizens, specially youngers consider them as role-models and imitate their behavoir. Some people believe that popular entertainers and athletes require more privacy than they have now, whereas some others hold an opposite opinion. In my view, famous people need to have more privacy for two remarkable reasons.
The main reason is that well-known people are regular persons like other people and need more privacy to attend their life's important tasks. Each person confront with various events in daily life which would have effect on his mood and require his attendance and spending time with his own family to mange the problem. For example, my friend Shelly is a popular actress, who spend a lot of time to answering her fans through social networks. One time her mother got sick and she had to take her to the hospital. On the way several people stop her car to get photo with her which took a lot of time and cuased her mother arrived hospital late. Since she is not in a good mood, she behave siriously with fans that had bad effect on her popularity. As you can see, famous peopel require to have more privacy.
Second, popular people need to have more privacy to become relaxe and enhance their work level. When people spend a portion of their time in privacy, they could think of their obstacles and ways to solve them. Therefore, they become relief and get a lot of energy and inforce their weakness to increase their level. For instance, statistics demonstrate a direct relation between the time famouse people spend in privacy and the better result and reaction they gain by critics. The researchers' investigation among two groups of well-known people reveal that people who have more opportunity to privacy could obtain more prosperity and flourishing on earliar age. This is because not only they are away from hussle and bussle of fans which provides them more releif, but also they could get familiar with social problems which could use in their works. If famous people had had more privacy, they would gain more success.
In conclusion, I do believe that the advantage of having more privacy for well-known people over wieght the benfit of being among their fans all the time. Not only they are regular person and need privacy to handle their daily works, but they also could use privacy to relax and enhance their level of work. I think people should allow popular people to have regular life.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 681, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'she' must be used with a third-person verb: 'behaves'.
Suggestion: behaves
...e. Since she is not in a good mood, she behave siriously with fans that had bad effect...
^^^^^^
Line 9, column 176, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...me in privacy, they could think of their obstacles and ways to solve them. Theref...
^^
Line 9, column 483, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'researchers'' or 'researcher's'?
Suggestion: researchers'; researcher's
... and reaction they gain by critics. The researchers investigation among two groups of well-...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 688, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...on earliar age. This is because not only they are away from hussle and bussle of ...
^^
Line 9, column 871, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: had
...ld use in their works. If famous people had had more privacy, they would gain more succ...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, if, second, so, therefore, well, whereas, for example, for instance, i think, in conclusion, in my view
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 9.0 15.1003584229 60% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 9.8082437276 133% => OK
Conjunction : 19.0 13.8261648746 137% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 48.0 43.0788530466 111% => OK
Preposition: 56.0 52.1666666667 107% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2139.0 1977.66487455 108% => OK
No of words: 438.0 407.700716846 107% => OK
Chars per words: 4.88356164384 4.8611393121 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.57476223824 4.48103885553 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.27963206174 2.67179642975 85% => OK
Unique words: 214.0 212.727598566 101% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.488584474886 0.524837075471 93% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 670.5 618.680645161 108% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 9.59856630824 83% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6003584229 102% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 39.1743587757 48.9658058833 80% => OK
Chars per sentence: 101.857142857 100.406767564 101% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.8571428571 20.6045352989 101% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.42857142857 5.45110844103 100% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.5376344086 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.85842293907 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.88709677419 20% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.230045639355 0.236089414692 97% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0816063552859 0.076458572812 107% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0611403163986 0.0737576698707 83% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.159903908607 0.150856017488 106% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0327344563467 0.0645574589148 51% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.0 11.7677419355 102% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 58.1214874552 103% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.1575268817 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.02 10.9000537634 101% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.87 8.01818996416 98% => OK
difficult_words: 90.0 86.8835125448 104% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.