Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Getting advice from older adults is better than getting advice from peers.
Use specific reasons ad examples to support your opinion
I think there are things that we should appreciate from older people because of their life experiences, which means that they might have wiser advices to give to younger people. However, I personally think that there are things that older people cannot consider fully to give younger people adequate advices.
First of all, it is hard for them to understand that time has changed. Especially, these days, technology is developing almost everyday. Many youths, and people in 20s easily accept those changes and try to prepare for the future based on this dramatic development. However, if we ask advices regarding how to prepare for the future to older people, we wouldn’t be able to get meaningful advices. For example, nowadays, many young students dream to become youtubers and progammers, because they know that those occupations are valid jobs just as becoming a doctor. However, older people don’t understand how youtubers and progammers could be real jobs. For this reason, it wouldn’t be a good idea to ask advice from older people when it comes to deciding something about future. Also, it would be much better decision to ask their peers who understand these technology better.
Moreover, in Korea society, because of our strict hierarchy based on our ages, it would be hard to get advices and it would be more like being scolded by older people. Because many older people believe that younger people are not capable of deciding solutions for their own problems. For instance, when I had a talk with my professor about going to graduate schools to study what I was really passionate about, he just simply told me that I can’t do that, because he knows more than me, and he thinks that I wouldn’t be successful. I think this kind of conversations happen a lot as if older generations are worrying about younger people. However, it only shows that older people’s not believing younger people’s choices. If these young people ask adivces to their friends, their friends wouldn’t try to discourage their friends, because they can easily think in their friends’ perspective.
In conclusion, I think it is better to get advices form peers because those peers understand more about what is happening around you, and they can easily think in your perspective, rather than trying to teach you what to do.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 129, Rule ID: EVERYDAY_EVERY_DAY[3]
Message: 'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean 'every day'?
Suggestion: every day
...e days, technology is developing almost everyday. Many youths, and people in 20s easily ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 869, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this technology' or 'these technologies'?
Suggestion: this technology; these technologies
...ision to ask their peers who understand these technology better. Moreover, in Korea society, ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, however, if, moreover, really, regarding, so, for example, for instance, i think, in conclusion, kind of, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 15.1003584229 119% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 9.8082437276 102% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 13.8261648746 51% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 15.0 11.0286738351 136% => OK
Pronoun: 62.0 43.0788530466 144% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 44.0 52.1666666667 84% => OK
Nominalization: 2.0 8.0752688172 25% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1968.0 1977.66487455 100% => OK
No of words: 387.0 407.700716846 95% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.08527131783 4.8611393121 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.43534841618 4.48103885553 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.74938800469 2.67179642975 103% => OK
Unique words: 196.0 212.727598566 92% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.50645994832 0.524837075471 96% => OK
syllable_count: 598.5 618.680645161 97% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 9.59856630824 135% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 8.0 3.51792114695 227% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6003584229 83% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 22.0 20.1344086022 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 50.8752460185 48.9658058833 104% => OK
Chars per sentence: 115.764705882 100.406767564 115% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.7647058824 20.6045352989 110% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.70588235294 5.45110844103 141% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.140358415927 0.236089414692 59% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0485809753039 0.076458572812 64% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0529364271544 0.0737576698707 72% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.10631852218 0.150856017488 70% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0409808743109 0.0645574589148 63% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.9 11.7677419355 118% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 58.1214874552 99% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 10.1575268817 105% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.54 10.9000537634 115% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.87 8.01818996416 98% => OK
difficult_words: 77.0 86.8835125448 89% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 10.002688172 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.0537634409 107% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.