Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Most businesspeople are motivated only by the desire for more money.
The amount of money that someone can earn is one of the most important factors in our society. Genuinely, it determines our level of success. Although a plethora of people hold the opinion that human beings, especially businessmen, just work because of money, others disagree with this point of view and believe that they have other goals in their lives. I, to a great extent, hold this viewpoint that businesspeople are provoked by a variety of aims. Among countless reasons, which can vindicate my point of view, I will mention the two most conspicuous ones through the following paragraphs.
The first reason that juts out of my mind easily at the first moment of this issue is the fact that they do their duties because by doing so, they will feel internal satisfaction. In other words, they will feel that they are useful in the society; therefore, they have a great deal of impetus to improve their business and work very hard. Some people may believe that money is a great impetus for them. Although this point of view is true, individuals with this opinion should consider the fact that money, by itself, is not enough. To cast more light on this matter, consider a man who do a job only for its salary. Beyond a shadow of a doubt, after some time, he will lose his incentive and feel that he is useless. Therefore, he will not have his previous performance.
The second and equally exquisite proof for this assertion is about this importance that businessmen really want to introduce individuals new technology. They are always looking for new way to enhance the level of people’s lives by providing an excellent access for them to the new products. Actually, they are the pillars and the power that guide our nation toward progress. To give a tangible example, a research conducted by some scientists in my country has shown that almost all persons who do business activities, make attempts to bring new technology into their nation. As it is clear, they have undeniable roll in our society.
To make a long story short, based on the aforementioned arguments, we may draw the conclusion that money is not the only motivator for the businesspeople. This contention is due to the fact that not only do they do their tasks because does it has a fantastic effect on their emotions but also they want to facilitate our country. Consequently, there are sundry of purposes that drive them.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 247, Rule ID: A_UNCOUNTABLE[3]
Message: Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply 'excellent access'.
Suggestion: excellent access
...vel of people's lives by providing an excellent access for them to the new products. Actually,...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 243, Rule ID: DOES_NP_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'have'?
Suggestion: have
... do they do their tasks because does it has a fantastic effect on their emotions bu...
^^^
Line 4, column 243, Rule ID: DOES_X_HAS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'have'? As 'do' is already inflected, the verb cannot also be inflected.
Suggestion: have
... do they do their tasks because does it has a fantastic effect on their emotions bu...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, consequently, first, look, may, really, second, so, therefore, in other words, to a great extent
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 15.1003584229 99% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 9.8082437276 102% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 13.8261648746 43% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 19.0 11.0286738351 172% => OK
Pronoun: 65.0 43.0788530466 151% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 50.0 52.1666666667 96% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1988.0 1977.66487455 101% => OK
No of words: 415.0 407.700716846 102% => OK
Chars per words: 4.79036144578 4.8611393121 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.51348521516 4.48103885553 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.66582703189 2.67179642975 100% => OK
Unique words: 219.0 212.727598566 103% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.527710843373 0.524837075471 101% => OK
syllable_count: 612.9 618.680645161 99% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 9.59856630824 125% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 9.0 4.94265232975 182% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 50.5735850024 48.9658058833 103% => OK
Chars per sentence: 99.4 100.406767564 99% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.75 20.6045352989 101% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.85 5.45110844103 107% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.176599749013 0.236089414692 75% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0498488345243 0.076458572812 65% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0483039889011 0.0737576698707 65% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.109657695675 0.150856017488 73% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0352890406162 0.0645574589148 55% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.5 11.7677419355 98% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 58.1214874552 103% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.1575268817 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.5 10.9000537634 96% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.05 8.01818996416 100% => OK
difficult_words: 90.0 86.8835125448 104% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.