Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The most important ways to improve the people’s health is to clean the environment.
By and large, it has established beyond doubt that one of the most important problems of industrialized societies all around the world is the environmental pollutions like water and air pollutions which has the adverse effects on individuals’ health. However, a controversial question which is often raised regarding this idea is whether cleaning the environment is the best way to improve the people’s health or not? From my vantage point, I personally believe that, the environment and we, as a human being living in this environment link to each other, and in the long run we are affected in positive or negative manners by each other. In the following paragraphs, I will delve into the most outstanding reasons and examples, justifying my viewpoint.
The first exquisite point to be mentioned here is that we during our life every day consume food and water to be alive and our body can provide its required energy by them. With the progression in technologies and industrialization of societies the humans’ quality of life are increasing, but nowadays a great deal of pollution are entered to the nature by small and giant companies and factories and contaminate the air, water or agricultural fields. So, these polluted materials can be a dangerous factors for all the living things in the nature like animals, plants and especially humans. To illustrate, I would like to mention the available statistics about this issue. According to statistics, it has been proven that the air pollution is responsible for more than 56% of heart failures in adult individuals, aged 25-56 years old, which leads to die after 5 years among these persons, if they do not change their environment living there especially in the air-polluted big cities.
Another equally significant point is that the toxic components and heavy metals like Mercury as by-product of producing of goods by factories may contaminate the plants and vegetables we are consuming them which are growing at the adjacent of these factories. The consumption of these plants and vegetables can make serious medical signs and diseases like vomit, stomach-ache or gastritis and a recent medical research in our country showed that in the long-term, these heavy metals can accumulate in the gastrointestinal track and initiate the inflammatory responses that it can be the cause of inflammatory bowel disease.
To wrap it up, all the aforementioned reasons lead us to the conclusion that enhancing peoples’ health in all societies is a vital factor that must be provided by cleaning the environment living there. Consequently, the governments and authorities to achieve the long and short purposes must invest more money on cleaning the environment.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 506, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[2]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'factor'?
Suggestion: factor
...e polluted materials can be a dangerous factors for all the living things in the nature...
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Line 3, column 992, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ecially in the air-polluted big cities. Another equally significant point is tha...
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Line 5, column 394, Rule ID: A_UNCOUNTABLE[5]
Message: Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply 'recent medical research'.
Suggestion: recent medical research
...ke vomit, stomach-ache or gastritis and a recent medical research in our country showed that in the long-...
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Line 5, column 402, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
..., stomach-ache or gastritis and a recent medical research in our country showed t...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, consequently, first, however, if, may, regarding, so, by and large
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 15.1003584229 132% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 9.8082437276 102% => OK
Conjunction : 25.0 13.8261648746 181% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.0286738351 118% => OK
Pronoun: 39.0 43.0788530466 91% => OK
Preposition: 61.0 52.1666666667 117% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 8.0752688172 149% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2300.0 1977.66487455 116% => OK
No of words: 438.0 407.700716846 107% => OK
Chars per words: 5.25114155251 4.8611393121 108% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.57476223824 4.48103885553 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.15591601345 2.67179642975 118% => OK
Unique words: 246.0 212.727598566 116% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.561643835616 0.524837075471 107% => OK
syllable_count: 715.5 618.680645161 116% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 5.0 3.08781362007 162% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 20.6003584229 63% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 33.0 20.1344086022 164% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 79.9515385763 48.9658058833 163% => OK
Chars per sentence: 176.923076923 100.406767564 176% => OK
Words per sentence: 33.6923076923 20.6045352989 164% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.46153846154 5.45110844103 100% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 11.8709677419 67% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.88709677419 20% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.143089267206 0.236089414692 61% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0534515615327 0.076458572812 70% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0662181075684 0.0737576698707 90% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0913018315432 0.150856017488 61% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0800757564831 0.0645574589148 124% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 20.1 11.7677419355 171% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 37.98 58.1214874552 65% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 6.10430107527 183% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 16.2 10.1575268817 159% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.76 10.9000537634 126% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.53 8.01818996416 119% => OK
difficult_words: 118.0 86.8835125448 136% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 20.0 10.002688172 200% => OK
gunning_fog: 15.2 10.0537634409 151% => OK
text_standard: 20.0 10.247311828 195% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 90.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 27.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.