Do you agree or disagree with the following statement. Nowadays more and more people spend too much money on their pets (dogs, cats and others), although there are better uses for this money.
The consideration of this fact is so vital that the human being in one's whole life needs to have a partner or something that does not allow him or her to be alone. But sometimes some of the people buy a pet to make them happy that it will play a role as a child that they should spend money and time on it. While they can spend them on another thing that will get more profit than spend on the pets. In the following paragraphs some reasons are going to be discussed.
Firstly, when the people expense the money on the buying book, it is more useful for them. For example, when you reading books that you are interested in them, the passing time on the reading is so fabulous for you. Reading the books have tremendous advantages such as preventing from Alzheimer, giving a lot of informative instruction for the easier life and so on. In spite of this, you can spend your money on the food of the pets that it is waste of the money.
What is more, maintaining the pets have a lot of cost such as visiting the doctor, vaccinate and so on. While you can save your money step by step and then going to trip. That not only will get rid of your stress but also you have chance to see the new place and get more experience.
Thirdly, having the pets need a spacious house that it leads to more rent. To exemplify for those who do not own their house they can rent a smaller house with lower rent. In addition, instead of spending money on the bed of the pets or their nests the people can register for gym and spending their time and money for the exercising such as Yoga, Pilates and so on.
In a nutshell, the reasons that I mentioned above will shed light on this fact that spending money on the pets is waste of the money. So I think there are more sufficient ways for spending money on them rather than the pets.
when the people expense the money on the buying book
when people spend money on buying books
your money on the food of the pets that it is waste of the money.
your money on the food of the pets that is a waste of the money.
maintaining the pets have a lot of cost
maintaining the pets has a lot of cost
That not only will get rid of your stress but also you have chance to see the new place and get more experience.
Description: 'Not only...but also' is not used properly. can you re-write this sentence?
having the pets need a spacious house that it leads to more rent.
having the pets need a spacious house that leads to more rent.
spending money on the pets is waste of the money.
spending money on the pets is a waste of money.
flaws:
The essay is not exactly right on the topic. Read the essay topic again and think why.
-----------------
and you don't use 'that' properly. like:
But sometimes some of the people buy a pet to make them happy that it will play a role as a child that they should spend money and time on it.
having the pets need a spacious house that it leads to more rent.
read a good gram book about 'that'
-------------------------
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: ? in 30
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 349 350
No. of Characters: 1433 1500
No. of Different Words: 160 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.322 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.106 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.11 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 59 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 45 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 30 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 20 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.812 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.966 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.812 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.357 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.591 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.188 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5