Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? One of the best ways that parents can help their teenager children prepare for adult life is to encourage them to take a part-time job.
While some people think it is not needed for children to be familiar with the jobs in a lower age, there are quite a few numbers of people who claim it is not convincing. To my way of thinking, one of an appropriate way for preparing juveniles for the future life is encouraging them to a part-time job because not only does it make them responsible persons, but also it is an effective way for them to know the worth of money.
The first reason which should be stated here is that job has an important role in making the people responsible. As all we know, children are more prepared for learning than adults, so it is much proper to make them responsible when they are in a lower age. For example, compare two children. One of them registered for a summer job in a library, on the first day of her working some tasks like ordering the books in shelves were specified for her. She knew that she is responsible for these tasks, so she tried to do her best. In a contrary, another child was not familiar with such these responsibilities. When both of them are employed in one company with the same responsibilities, one who had experienced working, knows exactly what should she do in order to execute her tasks without any stress, yet the other person does not have any views about the performing the tasks. Furthermore, as she has never experienced such these responsibilities it is more probable that she makes a lot of mistakes. Since, part-time job during the youth can be effective in preparing children for future real life.
Another point worth discussing here is that when children experience working, they endeavor in making money, so they understand the worth of it. Again, considering the last paragraph example, the girl who was working in a library, knew if she works in a true way, she will get some money, else she will not get any money. Since, she tried to raise her endeavor to get money. As a result, after this part-time job when she wanted to get some money from her parents for her monthly expenditure, she tried to manage her money to expend it in the best way and saved some of them because she knew that her parents tried a lot to make money. Since, it is clear that by working in a lower ages people are more prepared for managing their money, so adjusting to the heavy expenditures in the future is not too difficult for them.
To summarize, as I mentioned, there are lots of reasons like, making teenagers responsible and knowing the value of money, which shows inspiring children to working in a part-time job can have convenient effects on the future life of children.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 250, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a true way" with adverb for "true"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...working in a library, knew if she works in a true way, she will get some money, else she will...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 323, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Since” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...money, else she will not get any money. Since, she tried to raise her endeavor to get...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, furthermore, if, so, while, for example, as a result
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 15.1003584229 152% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 9.8082437276 61% => OK
Conjunction : 4.0 13.8261648746 29% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 15.0 11.0286738351 136% => OK
Pronoun: 56.0 43.0788530466 130% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 59.0 52.1666666667 113% => OK
Nominalization: 1.0 8.0752688172 12% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2142.0 1977.66487455 108% => OK
No of words: 468.0 407.700716846 115% => OK
Chars per words: 4.57692307692 4.8611393121 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.65116196802 4.48103885553 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.64492976171 2.67179642975 99% => OK
Unique words: 209.0 212.727598566 98% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.446581196581 0.524837075471 85% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 681.3 618.680645161 110% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 9.59856630824 63% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 3.51792114695 199% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6003584229 83% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 27.0 20.1344086022 134% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 71.4947671519 48.9658058833 146% => OK
Chars per sentence: 126.0 100.406767564 125% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.5294117647 20.6045352989 134% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.11764705882 5.45110844103 76% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.265365632186 0.236089414692 112% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0955076502041 0.076458572812 125% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0810464227103 0.0737576698707 110% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.195685581495 0.150856017488 130% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0652072837863 0.0645574589148 101% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.9 11.7677419355 118% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 52.53 58.1214874552 90% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.6 10.1575268817 124% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.58 10.9000537634 88% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.47 8.01818996416 93% => OK
difficult_words: 74.0 86.8835125448 85% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 18.0 10.002688172 180% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 10.0537634409 127% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 10.247311828 127% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.