Do yo agree or disagree with the following statement? For success in a future job, the ability to relate well to people is more important than studying hard in school.
While some people believe that who are skillful in relating to a lot of people have more chance of success in their job, others claim that this idea is not convincing. To my way of thinking, studying in university provides more possibility of success because not only does the communities need to expert persons but also relationships do not enough for prospering.
The first reason which should be stated here is that countries need many professional persons. As all we know, if one society wants to succeed, it will need the elite people in a vast variety of fields, so if one intent on making a better future in her job, should occupy in one position which is required for the country. For example, compare two different persons, one with the convenient skill in making communication, another one with having the enormous information about business which is acquired in university. when both of them begin to work as a trader, one who is educated from university, according to the situation of the country and the lacks of goods inside the country knows which type of materials should import in and which of them should export to other countries. However, one who has the ability of making a proper relationship with other traders from other countries cannot knowing the sufficient needs of the society. As a result, it is clear that any society needs elite people to succeed in reaching to its purposes.
Another point worth discussing here is that relating to people is usefulness in some cases. there are quite a few numbers of items which effect on succeeding in the future job. In my opinion, having the ability in making an appropriate relationship is effective in the limited field. For example, in my country, when one nurse wants to be employed in one of the hospitals should have the academic degree. In another word, if she does not have enough knowledge about treating the patients and how to therapy them cannot occupy in that position. Since, when someone wants to work in the hospital, at first the person who is responsible for electing people, investing her resume, after that decide to choose her for that situation or not. Actually, a strong ability of relationship does not provide the requirements of any job.
To summarize, as I mentioned, there are lots of reasons like, needing to the expert people and existing important elements than relationship which shows it is high time one thought just by making a lot of communication one can prosper.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 520, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: When
...siness which is acquired in university. when both of them begin to work as a trader,...
^^^^
Line 3, column 827, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...wever, one who has the ability of making a proper relationship with other traders...
^^
Line 5, column 93, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: There
... to people is usefulness in some cases. there are quite a few numbers of items which ...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, first, however, if, so, while, for example, as a result, in my opinion, in some cases
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 15.1003584229 106% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 9.8082437276 122% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 13.8261648746 43% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 22.0 11.0286738351 199% => OK
Pronoun: 26.0 43.0788530466 60% => OK
Preposition: 68.0 52.1666666667 130% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2059.0 1977.66487455 104% => OK
No of words: 423.0 407.700716846 104% => OK
Chars per words: 4.86761229314 4.8611393121 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.53508145475 4.48103885553 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.69506864067 2.67179642975 101% => OK
Unique words: 216.0 212.727598566 102% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.510638297872 0.524837075471 97% => OK
syllable_count: 656.1 618.680645161 106% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 9.59856630824 21% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 10.0 3.51792114695 284% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.94265232975 162% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 20.6003584229 78% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 26.0 20.1344086022 129% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 57.2447800568 48.9658058833 117% => OK
Chars per sentence: 128.6875 100.406767564 128% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.4375 20.6045352989 128% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.625 5.45110844103 122% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.85842293907 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.172057365743 0.236089414692 73% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0597892507808 0.076458572812 78% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0431400185411 0.0737576698707 58% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.117676979583 0.150856017488 78% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0580134532799 0.0645574589148 90% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.7 11.7677419355 125% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 45.09 58.1214874552 78% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 10.1575268817 132% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.26 10.9000537634 103% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.51 8.01818996416 106% => OK
difficult_words: 96.0 86.8835125448 110% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 10.002688172 140% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 10.0537634409 123% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.