Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
The opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people than they are to older people.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer
It goes without saying that the community of famous people has a lot of effects on society. There has been a controversial debate among people living in s society as to whether celebrities are more likely to influence young people. From my perspective, celebrities have great impacts on juveniles and youth, and two reasons to support my viewpoint are presented as follows.
To begin with, young people are huge fans of famous people since they have more information than older people have. It is not a secret to anyone that young people in the present time are interested in going to the movies or being informed of every events and happening by the use of the internet, actually they have a great talent to use electronic devices in comparison with their parents or older people; as a result they are aware of different events and news in the celebrities world which induces them to pursue their life style and their way of thought. When we are used to doing the same task or work every day, we will have a more open mind for it, so it is more likely than celebrities' way of living and opinion influence juveniles since they are on the exposure of such things. To put it in more vivid picture, when I was a high school student, I was obsessed with following a famous actor's line of thought about politics even if it was wrong since I spend much time getting information from the media. Had I not been in touch with technology so much, I would not been interested in following other famous people's viewpoints.
Furthermore, older individuals usually have more experiences in their lives. It is crystal clear that be the passage of time and by growing older we will turn in to more knowledgeable and experienced people since we are facing different problems and challenges every day which means we are becoming capable of not accepting other opinions immediately. When we grow up older, we are able to distinguish good from evil and wrong from right; therefore we do not trust ever body and they cannot influence us in different way. As you can see, since older people have lived longer than younger people; they are experienced individuals who are not influenced by others' opinions even celebrities'.
In sum, not only are young people spending more time watching media and using the internet for seeking information, they are also not experienced enough.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 164, Rule ID: WHETHER[6]
Message: Can you shorten this phrase to just 'whether', or rephrase the sentence to avoid "as to"?
Suggestion: whether
...debate among people living in s society as to whether celebrities are more likely to influenc...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 689, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ed by others opinions even celebrities. In sum, not only are young people spendi...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, furthermore, if, so, therefore, as to, as a result, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 15.1003584229 166% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 9.8082437276 51% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 13.8261648746 108% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.0286738351 82% => OK
Pronoun: 39.0 43.0788530466 91% => OK
Preposition: 59.0 52.1666666667 113% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.0752688172 74% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1957.0 1977.66487455 99% => OK
No of words: 410.0 407.700716846 101% => OK
Chars per words: 4.77317073171 4.8611393121 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.49982852243 4.48103885553 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.62774855396 2.67179642975 98% => OK
Unique words: 208.0 212.727598566 98% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.507317073171 0.524837075471 97% => OK
syllable_count: 631.8 618.680645161 102% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 9.59856630824 94% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 20.6003584229 63% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 31.0 20.1344086022 154% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 93.1186174891 48.9658058833 190% => OK
Chars per sentence: 150.538461538 100.406767564 150% => OK
Words per sentence: 31.5384615385 20.6045352989 153% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.23076923077 5.45110844103 114% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 11.8709677419 34% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.310182176555 0.236089414692 131% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.120239057726 0.076458572812 157% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0625280744145 0.0737576698707 85% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.180568943765 0.150856017488 120% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0597775475474 0.0645574589148 93% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.8 11.7677419355 143% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 48.47 58.1214874552 83% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.2 10.1575268817 140% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.98 10.9000537634 101% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.29 8.01818996416 103% => OK
difficult_words: 81.0 86.8835125448 93% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 10.002688172 115% => OK
gunning_fog: 14.4 10.0537634409 143% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.