Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In order to become financially responsible adults, children should learn to manage their own money at young age. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer
It goes without saying in today’s progressive world where we live, the most important issue which we should care about is money. In this regard, all the people require money to get various services such as education, business, travel and etc. Therefore, psychologist believe that instead of past, due to the developing of standard of lives make the money as a crucial content which we get sufficient information to use it in appropriate way since we were children. As a result, I agree with this idea that, we should know that how the managing of money is possible even since we were kids, because with knowing that can direct effect on the financial responsibility of each individuals in the future. The reasons to support my idea are illustrated in the following paragraphs.
To begin with, the money is directed related with job. To be more specific, if the people want that, the children should learn how to manage the money, they should inform them about the essential concept of job. According to the economic reaserch, each individual worked since he was young child, he will be a most responsible person about the financial matter in his lifehood. For instance, despite of my little brother, I used to work in a small Garage when I was 13 years old. So, I acquire the ways that how I could manage my income to could take apart in dance class. Therefore, Now after 15 years , I have plan for all my financial issued and also own my small company, but my little brother still give the money from father. As a result, learning this topic can make the person as a good worker and responsible person.
Furthermore, most of the children need everything from their parent. If parent teach kids the control of their own money, they do not waste money in useful matter. For example, my little brother spent all his money on Computer gaming and after one week, he lost all his money which my father gave him. While, my father told me how to manage my money so I utilized and at the end of the summer in 1980, I could bye the bicycle by my own.
In conclusion, having considered the above-mentioned reasons into account, I am of the opinion that, the children should learn about handling their money, because it has some beneficials to make them to be a responsible, independent and saver money and this three thing is the most key of rich people.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 235, Rule ID: AND_ETC[1]
Message: Use simply 'etc.'.
Suggestion: etc.
...ces such as education, business, travel and etc. Therefore, psychologist believe that in...
^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 602, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...nce class. Therefore, Now after 15 years , I have plan for all my financial issued...
^^
Line 2, column 612, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Use past participle here: 'planned'.
Suggestion: planned
... Therefore, Now after 15 years , I have plan for all my financial issued and also ow...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, furthermore, if, so, still, therefore, while, for example, for instance, in conclusion, such as, as a result, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 15.1003584229 79% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 9.8082437276 122% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 13.8261648746 58% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 55.0 43.0788530466 128% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 60.0 52.1666666667 115% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 8.0752688172 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1934.0 1977.66487455 98% => OK
No of words: 417.0 407.700716846 102% => OK
Chars per words: 4.63788968825 4.8611393121 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.5189133491 4.48103885553 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.57037572068 2.67179642975 96% => OK
Unique words: 225.0 212.727598566 106% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.539568345324 0.524837075471 103% => OK
syllable_count: 603.0 618.680645161 97% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 14.0 9.59856630824 146% => OK
Article: 5.0 3.08781362007 162% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6003584229 83% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 24.0 20.1344086022 119% => OK
Sentence length SD: 63.4200583903 48.9658058833 130% => OK
Chars per sentence: 113.764705882 100.406767564 113% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.5294117647 20.6045352989 119% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.88235294118 5.45110844103 145% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 11.8709677419 67% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.88709677419 164% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.234389632891 0.236089414692 99% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0795392686088 0.076458572812 104% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0464057067488 0.0737576698707 63% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.142768991968 0.150856017488 95% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0128969397594 0.0645574589148 20% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.7 11.7677419355 108% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 64.04 58.1214874552 110% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 10.1575268817 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.93 10.9000537634 91% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.78 8.01818996416 97% => OK
difficult_words: 78.0 86.8835125448 90% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 10.002688172 135% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 10.0537634409 115% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.